THE GUESTLIST NETWORK | JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2011
I HOPE YOU KEPT THE RECEIPT!
The top 10 christmas gifts that should definitely get binned in the New Year!
1. That no brand, two sizes too small tracksuit that your Nan got you.
2. Gift vouchers you’ll NEVER end up using. Why
would anyone want to spend £50 in Paperchase anyway?!
3. Acne Cream. Brilliant, the one time of year you can get deeply insulted, and yet you still have to look grateful. Bah humbug.
4. Endless soaps & scented candles that make your room smell like a cheap version of ‘Lush’.
5. Tiny travel board-games... Don’t think I’ll be jumping on the tube with my mini chess set anytime soon!
6. The horrendous homemade knitted jumper; worn only on the day it’s given to you to look polite.
7. Pens with names on. Especially if your name isn’t popular enough to make it into the shop! You really shouldn’t replace ‘Terri’ with ‘Terry’, it just doesn’t work!
8. Boring socks, boxers and the least sexy lingerie you have ever seen.
9. 2011 Diaries. We got so many this year we could have opened up our own WhSmiths!
10. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Christmas has made us fat enough as it is, stop the temptation!
What would you put on yours? Create a binder for your course work or as a photo album for a friend.
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www.averybrandandprint.co.uk
You think it. You create it. We print it.
WHY JANUARY IS GREAT
Hello 2011! The Xmas and New Year celebrations are over. We’re all partied out and carrying a few extra pounds. Some of you mentalists are already planning the next!
The Guestlist Network FIND US & WIN STUFF!
YOUR HOROSCOPE by Fin Carew Aquarius
Pisces Jan 21 - Feb 19
The planets in Jupiter are crying out to give you advice. They’re telling you not to be afraid to buy your porn in public, because everyone knows. Fair do’s. I mean… look at you.
Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23 You might discover a
hidden talent. It’s a bit ‘might’ though. You ‘might’ win the lottery.
Sushi is horrible and you should be ashamed. Feb 20 - Mar 20
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
You will discover the truth behind a previous mystery. Bruce Willis was a ghost all along.
We are here to say live in the now, take a shot of caffeine and kick start that diet early. January is crammed packed full of awesomeness! Such as retail sales, whey! Get down
there and nab a bargain now! But be prepared to fight for it. Drake hits the UK hurrah! Alongside rising star J. Cole he plays a string of gigs that are bound to make massive headlines. Finally, go on and release your inner kid by heading down to the mas- sive toy fair at Olympia from 27th-29th or the computer game expo being held at Earls Court on the same dates..
so we printed it :-)
9 Sarah thought...
“what would I look like upside down?”
Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
You will finally realise that a pet isn’t a very good replacement for human love – so you’d better learn to make do.
Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
Your friends will abandon you unless you shut up about Glee. I swear to God…
Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
Don’t be scared of meeting new people. Internet dating isn’t just for losers these days; it’s for people like us to date losers.
Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 22 tal crisis. Idiot.
You will start an environmen-
Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
You will change your religion on a whim. Why not, eh?
Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
Your destiny is set. Become a vegan and start preaching to vegetarians that milk has a soul.
Nov 23 - Dec 21 Sagittarius
Your discovery that Pear Drops are not one of your 5-a-day will shake your founda- tions. Don’t let it break you, but certainly brush your teeth.
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Your decision to become a super hero will come shortly before your epic fall from grace. You have been warned.
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