SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2010
Parents will pay for wedding if daughter waits till age 25
CAROLYN HAX
Dear Carolyn: Is it so crazy to give your child the ultimatum that, indeed, she may marry at any time but we, as her parents, will not pay for the event until she is 25? I think she is entirely too young (21). She believes she is adult enough to marry so I say, go ahead, but you are going to have to pay for it. No, the irony of my childish
response is not lost of me. Anonymous
It’s crazy only if you want a close and mutually respectful relationship with your daughter.
First of all, your logic is
flawed; if she’s adult enough to pay for a wedding at 21, then she’s adult enough to pay for one at 25-plus. I hope you’ll expect accountability at any age.
Second, your methods are punitive enough to corrupt your message — and it’s a good message, one you want delivered intact. You’re worried about her, right? You know how much growing that people do throughout young adulthood, in ways they can’t anticipate? And you’re afraid her going through this with a husband, even the best husband and even as the most mature 21-year-old, will inhibit her ability to find out who she really is, right? (Not to put words in your mouth or anything.) Third, bungling this
message can haunt you both for years. Let’s say she does marry, and it, egad, lasts. Thrives, even. Your visits might always remind her of your lack of faith in her, your certainty that you knew better, your willingness to use money to control her. Maybe she’ll see some good
parental intentions through your misguided methods, or forgive you just because she loves you and you raised her, but I doubt you want your chance at dandling your grandchildren to hang on a “maybe.” So. Tell her you love her. Tell her what worries you, as long as your reasoning is neither patronizing nor critical of her ability to make up her own mind and live with her own decisions.
If you had always planned to
help pay for her wedding, tell her you’ll give her X dollars as a wedding gift, which she can spend on the wedding, spend on a home, use to pay student loans, stash in the bank or light on fire. Whenever you hesitate to support the choice, concentrate on supporting the child.
And, most important: Tell her your support isn’t contingent on her doing what you want her to do; assure her that as long as her intentions are good, you’ll stand by her, no matter what path she takes
NICK GALIFIANAKIS FOR THE WASHINGTON POST
—on any issue, not just marriage. (Translation: possibly premature nuptials, yes; crime spree, no.) Seriously. How would you
have felt if your parents had given you the “Good luck with that” treatment every time you chose a path they wouldn’t necessarily have chosen for you? I find it hard to believe that you’d have raced back home for Thanksgiving. You’ve been a parent for 21 years, and now it’s time for her to road-test your hard work — and hers. Whether she marries young, marries older, eventually divorces or never marries, will not on its own have the last word on whether hers is a loving and purposeful life.
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E11
Engagements | Weddings | Anniversaries ——Engagements——
Meredith Brown& Jordan Sorkin
—February 19, 2011—
To place an announcement: email:
weddings@washpost.com phone: 202-334-5736 fax: 202-334-7188 Anniversaries
——Weddings——
Candice Teunis Marries ScottWashko —July 17, 2010—
Hnin Aye Marries Mark D'Alessio —August 7, 2010—
Campbell
60th Anniversary —November 18, 1950—
Simmons 60th Anniversary
—November 25, 1950—
Wensel 50th Anniversary —November 1960—
Mr. and Mrs. DonaldWensel Mr. and Mrs.Ted Campbell
Douglas and Marisa Brown of Vien- na, Virginia are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Meredith Josephine Brown to Jordan Edward Sorkin, son of Howard and Barbara Sorkin of East Brunswick, New Jersey.
Meredith is a 2002 graduate of James Madison High School and a 2006 graduate of Purdue University. She is an Account Director of Eastern Regional Sales for the Austin, Texas Convention and Visitors Bureau.
Jordan is a 2002 graduate of East Brunswick High School and a 2006 graduate of Muhlenberg College. He is the Director of Inside Sales with LivingSocial.
Their wedding will take place in Washington, DC on February 19, 2011.
washingtonpost.com/weddingplanner REGISTER NOW to receive your
FREE COPY Mr. and Mrs. ScottWashko photo credit: John Hudetz Photography
Candice Braerman Teunis, M.D., daughter of Dr. and Mrs. B. Scott Teunis of White Stone, Virginia and Vail, Colorado married Scott Michael Washko, son of Mr. and Mrs. David Washko of Sugar Land, Texas at the Vail Chapel, Vail, Colorado, on July 17th, 2010. Candice was born and raised in Arlington, Virginia, graduated from Yorktown High School, Princeton University, Emory School of Medicine and the University of Utah Orthopaedic Residency Program. Scott was raised in Sugar Land, Texas, and graduated from Baylor University. The couple spent their honeymoon in Machu Picchu, Lima and Cusco, Peru.
Currently, Candice is doing a Hand Fellowship in San Antonio, Texas, and after a year will join the Richmond Bone and Joint Group of Houston, Texas. Scott works in oil and gas industrial sales for Allied Fitting, Inc. of Houston,Texas.
Mr. and Mrs. Mark D'Alessio photo credit: Brian Lusby
Hnin Thitsar Aye and Mark Frederick D’Alessio were married at Riverbend Country Club in Great Falls, Virginia on August 7, 2010. The celebrants officiating were Reverend David Lehmkuhl for the Christian ceremony; and Wunna Sithu and Marlar Tun for the “Tying the Knot” ceremony in Burmese tradition.
The bride is a graduate of George Mason University and works for Citibank in Washington, D.C. She is the daughter of Michael and Sivalee Myint of Nashville, and May Mie and Takakazu Kobayashi of Tokyo.
The groom is also a graduate of George Mason University and works for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in Washington,D.C. He is the son of Fred and Joanne D’Alessio of Great Falls, Virginia.
Declare Your Love!
Announce your Engagement,Wedding or Anniversary in The Washington Post’s Sunday Arts & Style Section. (Birthdays, Graduations & other Special Events have moved to Thursdays.) You may provide text and photos. Color is available. Many packages include keepsake plaques of your announcement.
To place an order and for more information, including rates: Contact The Weddings DropBox at:
weddings@washpost.com Or call 202.334.5736, toll free 877.POST.WED, fax 202.334.7188
All materials must be received by Monday at 1 p.m.
The bride’s attendants were: Tint O’Connor, Maid of Honor; Bridesmaids Khine Cho Hline, Myat Taezar, and Pamela D’Alessio Juliano. Craig Justin D’Alessio served as Best Man. The groomsmen were Brian Krachun and Mark Desierto. Dylan Hline, niece of the bride, was the flower girl; and Nicholas Milhazes, cousin of the groom,was the ring bearer.
The newlyweds met at college in 2003, honeymooned in Miami and presently reside in Crystal City, Vir- ginia.
Tip #4:
Book your photographer at least 6 months in advance.
Congratulations to Isabel and Ted Campbell, who are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. They were married on November 18,1950, at McMasters Methodist Church in Tur- tle Creek, Pennsylvania. Longtime residents of Annandale, Virginia, they now reside at Greenspring in Spring- field, Virginia. Their children, Cynthia (Richard Goodale, Jr.), Scott (Sheri), David (Stephanie), and Christopher (Lori), their ten grandchildren and first great-grandchild look forward to cel- ebrating this amazing milestone anniversary with admiration, pride, and love for two wonderful parents.
O'Brien 60th Anniversary
—November 12, 1950— Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Simmons
Leonard and Dohna Simmons were married November 25, 1950 in Lima, New York. After sharing a life of mili- tary travel and adventure Len retired from the U.S. Navy. They reside in Crofton, Maryland. They have three daughters, Debby, Linda and Lisa, ten grandchildren, five great-grandchil- dren and are awaiting the birth of their sixth great-grandchild next month.
Mitchell
10th Anniversary —November 11, 2000—
Dr. Barbara Clorey and Milton Mitchell celebrated their 10th wed- ding anniversary on November 11, 2010. They were married at Sandals Royal Bahamian Resort in the Bahamas. The Mitchells currently reside in Laurel, Maryland. They are very much in love and happy with their lives. In 2007, Madison was added to their family. May God continue to bless them for many more years to come.
PLANNING A WEDDING? Mr. and Mrs. Philip O'Brien
Lt. Col. (Ret.) and Mrs. Philip O’Brien were married on Nov. 12, 1950 at Ft. Sam Houston, Texas. They are long term residents of Reston, Virginia. and are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary with the O’Brien family - daughter Ann Morgan and husband Richard Morgan, grandsons Philip Krusemark and Capt. Brian Krusemark and wife Ashley. Their many friends also offer their congratulations.
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Back in 1960 near Washington, D.C. Patricia Lee McGraw married Donald Eugene Wensel in a quiet ceremony to celebrate their love. The following year they were blessed with the birth of their first son, Duane Edward. They later had another son David Elliott. Pat and Don now enjoy two grandchildren and many extended family members.
The couple reside in Silver Spring, Maryland. Don has worked as an accountant for several businesses, most recently the Department of Liquor Control in Montgomery Coun- ty. Pat's career as a CPA until just recently was with the Department of Agriculture. Both now retired, the couple enjoys traveling with an avid bird watchers club, gardening and church activities at Resurrection Lutheran Church.
Caudle 65thWedding Anniversary
—November 11, 1945—
Hubert and Mary Ellen Caudle will celebrate their 65thWedding Anniver- sary on November 11th, 2010.
They were married at Faith Lutheran Church in Arlington, Virginia in 1945. Hubert is the son of Floyd and Minnie Lee Caudle, former residents of Cen- terville and Cambridge City, Indiana. Hubert is a graduate of Centerville High School, Class of 1940. Hubert served in the Navy from May 1941.
Mary Ellen is a 1944 Graduate of Washington and Lee High School in Arlington, Virginia.
They have two daughters and a large extended family in the area.
Their faithfulness to God and each other is truly a wonderful testimony for all to see.
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