E10
K OnLove NUPTIALS EILEEN KIRKLEN
Latosha Frink & Troy Harrison
Latosha Frink, 33, is a government contracting officer. Troy Harrison, 36, is a police officer. They live in Lanham.
Wedding date: Oct. 10.
Location: Catering by Uptown’s Town and Country Ballroom, Landsdowne. Guests: 200
How they met: Latosha was out with her girlfriends at the now-defunct Platinum nightclub in January 2004 when she felt someone touching her hair. She turned around to find Troy. (He wanted to know if it was real.) By the end of the night, Troy had scored Latosha’s phone number — and a date for the next night.
The proposal: After five years of dating, Troy and Latosha had discussed their plans to marry at length. So the Big Moment ended up being actually pretty low-key: Latosha was folding laundry at home when Troy bent to one knee and said, “Let’s make this official.”
The wedding: Latosha and Troy focused on their families, with tributes that included a special dance with each other’s mothers, a video montage of the bride’s late father, and Latosha’s symbolic presentation of her bridal bouquet to her long-married aunt and uncle.
The honeymoon: The couple vacationed for two weeks on the islands of Maui and Oahu, Hawaii, where they went scuba diving, rode motorcycles and visited with Latosha’s relatives.
— Michelle Thomas
KLMNO
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SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2010
WHAT YOU’LL FIND ONLINE • Our OnLove questionnaire, which couples can fill out to be considered for coverage. • Videos, photos, advice and polls.
MARK GAIL/THE WASHINGTON POST WORTH THE WAIT: Gareth Warren and Lindsay Marsh dance their first dance at the wedding reception at the National Golf Club at Tantallon in Fort Washington. by Ellen McCarthy
Gareth Warren didn’t know what to think in the summer of 2008 when the grandmother of his godson handed him a book titled “The Best Sex of My Life.” Then he read the subtitle: “A Guide to
Purity.” “She just said, ‘I want to give this to
you,’ ” says Warren, who wasn’t exactly focused on sexual purification at that point. In his dating life, the 26-year-old assis- tant vice president at GE Capital had al- ways gravitated toward models and cheerleaders. His relationships were usu- ally fun, but ultimately unfulfilling. “It’d feel great when you’re out with people, but when you come to a certain point after you had sex, it’s like the con- versation ended because you don’t have a friendship,” he says. “There’s no sub- stance to it. It’s surface.” Over the next few months he occa- sionally picked up the book, reading a chapter at a time. Author Lindsay Marsh describes her Shaker Heights, Ohio, up- bringing in a home where virginity was valued but not explicitly discussed. Dur- ing high school her sexual interactions with a boyfriend were quickly escalating when she found out he was sleeping with another girl. Dejected, she turned to her faith for solace. In the years that fol- lowed, Marsh’s virginity became increas- ingly important to her, eventually in- spiring her to write the book and launch an organization, Worth the Wait Revolu- tion, which encourages others to reserve sex for marriage. The book “guided me in the right di-
LOVE LIFE IMAGES
Amy Stanley & Jay Hariani
Amy Stanley, 30, is a lawyer. Jay Hariani, 31, is a consultant. They live in the District.
Wedding date: Oct. 8 and 9.
Location: All Souls Unitarian Church, Washington; JW Marriott, Washington. Guests: 100-200.
ONLINE LOVE
How they met: In July 2007, Amy and Jay spotted each other’s profiles on
Match.com Their first meeting for drinks in Adams Morgan didn’t go well — Amy was late; Jay left without saying goodbye. But they gave it another, more successful go two days later over dinner in Arlington County.
The proposal: Just over two years later, Jay told Amy that he wanted to stop by the Tidal Basin to take some pictures with his new camera. After a few shots, he told her he was ready to go. Amy was surprised — already? Jay said, “Actually, I have one more question to ask you.” And yes, it was the question.
The wedding: The couple’s celebration reflected Amy’s Christian background and Jay’s half-Indian heritage. The four-day affair included henna-painting at a mehndi party, two ceremonies (one Unitarian, one Hindu), singing and dancing at a sangeet, and a farewell brunch. A parade of 100 guests followed Jay as he rode a horse down Pennsylvania Avenue, and Amy’s Minnesota roots were reflected in the couple’s reception decor and menu.
The honeymoon: The newlyweds traveled through Italy, touring Rome, Tuscany, Florence and the Amalfi Coast.
— Michelle Thomas With these smartphone apps, romance is always calling by Ellen McCarthy
Lately our smartphones have taken a lashing for interfering with our most val- ued personal relationships. Spouses repeat themselves, but still don’t feel heard. Girl- friends compete with gadgets for attention in the bedroom. And we’re too fixated on our touchscreens to catch the eye of an in- triguing stranger. But don’t worry — the app inventors of the world are ready to turn our phones into little love machines. Most of their creations are widely available and free, though a few will cost you a dollar or two. And you really can’t put a price on techno- logically assisted romance. Perhaps you’re single and looking for love. “101 Pickup Lines” might help you at- tract the attention of someone special. Just tap that cute brunette on the shoulder, scroll through the choices and lay one on her. Try No.37: “Do you have a map? ’Cause honey, I keep gettin’ lost in your eyes.” How could she not fall for you? Once you’ve got her number, fire up the
“Date Smart” app to figure out what to do on Friday night. Enter your location, price range and the type of excursion you want — adventurous, maybe, or cultural — and it’ll produce the perfect itinerary for a
night of wooing. If it suggests you go dancing, you might want to download the “Dancing Guide.” When your phone hears the music, it’ll let you know whether to break into a waltz or a foxtrot and will help you master the moves. A home-cooked meal might be more
your style and “Romantic Dinner Date Recipes” can tell you just what should go on the menu. Once you’re seated across from each other, pull up “Getting Flirty” to decode her expressions and figure out if she’s having a good time. If you wind up back at your place, fire up
the “Valentine Radio” app to hear love songs from radio stations around the world. When the time is right and you want to tell her how you really feel, the “Love in Multi-Languages” app will help you say it in Japanese or French or 10 other languages. To drive home the point, read aloud from “Love Quotes 500” — a syrupy new sentiment will appear every time you shake your phone. Thinking about going in for the kiss, but worried about your technique? Just smooch the screen of your phone and the “Kiss Me” app will rate your style on a scale of 1 to 10 while also offering some helpful pointers. “Careful, don’t chip a tooth,” it chastises if you led with your pearly
‘LOVETRICITY’:
The iPhone app gauges whether sparks will fly.
whites. (It does not, however, warn you of the possible social or germ-related side ef- fects that come from making out with your phone.) Let’s say you’ve been with someone for a while but aren’t sure the relationship should continue; try “Lovetricity” to see how much chemistry you share. When you both place your thumbs on the phone, it will analyze the heat between you to deter- mine whether you’re “burning hot” or “heartbroken.” Still torn? Turn to “Date ’Em or Dump ’Em” for guidance. Five car- toon gurus — a nerd, a jock, a cheerleader, a theater boy and Cupid himself — are at the ready to decide the fate of your love life. “Adult Truth or Dare” could spice things up if you decide to keep seeing each other. Or try one of a half-dozen apps designed to help you find new positions between the sheets. To keep the romance going, send your beloved a (digital) “Candy Valentine Heart.” Or Photoshop an image of yourself holding a bunch of (digital) flowers from the “Send-a-Bouquet” app. And when you’re ready, “iWedding” will help you make your way to the altar. Don’t forget to update your Facebook relation- ship status once you’re hitched — you can do it right from your smartphone.
mccarthye@washpost.com
rection,” says Warren, who stopped lis- tening to music with hyper-sexualized lyrics and cut ties with a woman whose values didn’t match up with what he now believed. In early February 2009, days after at- tending a church ceremony with his god- son’s family, the woman who gave him the book asked if he’d be interested in be- ing set up with a young lady who’d been seated in the row behind them. Her name was Lindsay Marsh. “I was like, ‘Wow,’ ” he says. “Because I
read the book, I feel like I know who she is, and I know all about her.” Marsh, an anesthesiologist who was then 32, knew very little about Warren, but she’d been attending the Spirit of Faith Christian Center since she was a freshman at George Washington Univer- sity and she trusted the opinion of the woman playing cupid. Marsh had noticed Warren sitting in front of her that Sunday and thought, Oooh, he’s nice looking. It had been years since she dated anyone seriously; while she believed she was meant to have a husband, she was unwilling to waste
When he called her back, she proposed dinner that night with her sister and brother-in-law, two of the many protec- tive people in Marsh’s life who were quick to assess any guy she considered dating.
Once the four were seated around a
TGIFriday’s table at Arundel Mills Mall, the evening became “a Gareth talk ses- sion,” Warren says. He unraveled his life story, replete with sins and shortcom- ings. “It’s better to hear from the horse’s mouth,” he explains. Otherwise, “you leave people to kinda imagine or do their research or hear from other people.”
‘He knew exactly how I felt on every level of dating’
Lindsay Marsh & Gareth Warren
time seeing men who didn’t share her moral code. “For me, any level of dating would’ve
been dating with a purpose in mind,” she says. “I knew I desired marriage. I knew I desired a family, and I knew I desired to do things the right way — a proper way — in that dating relationship. So if someone wasn’t willing to accommodate those simple goals, then it just wasn’t worth it.” That week, an e-mail from Warren came through Marsh’s Worth the Wait Web site. The short message explained that he had a past but was changed by her book. “I just fell in love with the fact that he was so sincere and genuine,” she says. The next Saturday, Marsh decided to
call Warren. “I know a guy like that thinks he’s got a lot of game, so I’m gonna switch it up,” she remembers thinking. “Plus, I’m just a little bit of a go-getter.”
Marsh was impressed by the honesty, and as they drove home, her brother-in- law said he felt like Warren was “some- body who knows your worth.” The next week, Marsh and Warren went out by themselves and began speak- ing every day by phone. Because Warren had read the book, Marsh says, “he knew exactly how I felt on every level of dating and waiting and why.” That meant she didn’t have to explain she hadn’t kissed a man in nearly a decade and didn’t plan on doing so until she was married be- cause, she says, “now that I understood my worth and value, I don’t give out any discounts.” Holding off, she says, “became as im-
portant to him as it was to me.” The relationship felt like a revelation
to Warren. “Lindsey and I have gone far deeper than I have gone with any other woman,” he says, despite the fact that
they had never been physically intimate. They were making the commute be-
tween Washington and Baltimore, where he lived, three or four times a week. By the end of March, she says, “we already knew. Like, ‘Okay, we’re for each other.’ ” They spent the next nine months accli-
mating their families to the idea of the re- lationship and attending couples com- munications workshops at Spirit of Faith. On Christmas Eve, with their fami- lies gathered around, Warren, now 28, played a video he’d made for Marsh and asked her to marry him. Throughout their engagement, War- ren became Marsh’s partner in Worth the Wait, speaking on panels and helping to tailor the message in an effort to reach more men. Together, she says, they hope to expand the organization to promote “purity in marriage” by discouraging adultery and the use of pornography. Marsh, now 34, suspects that many people thought she would end up with a virgin or a pastor’s son. “But I never wanted to marry a virgin,” she says. “I wanted to marry somebody that would be a virgin in their heart toward me and toward God.” In fact, she thinks that marrying War- ren will make people more receptive to their message of “restoration and renew- al — that regardless of your path, you can make the decision to wait today.” “Although he’s not a virgin, it’ll almost
be like he is on our wedding night be- cause we haven’t had sex,” she adds. “So, you know — we’re looking forward to it.” Marsh and Warren invited the whole congregation to watch them exchange vows at the Spirit of Faith church in Tem- ple Hills on Oct. 30. Including ushers and hostesses, it was a nearly 40-person brid- al party, who erupted in cheers as the two kissed for the first time after being pre- sented as husband and wife. Later, 280 friends and family members
gathered for a reception at the National Golf Club at Tantallon in Fort Washing- ton. Marsh and Warren entered the ball- room dancing to a song by the Black Eyed Peas. The couple’s guests raised their hands while shouting out the re- frain: “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.”
mccarthye@washpost.com
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