in such winning proportions that his books set best selling records. In his book, What Do You Really Want for Your Children? Dyer gave us con- crete ways to help the next genera- tion be all they could be. Reading Dr. Dyer’s works, or listening to him, reminds us of the child drink- ing a glass of milk and the Zen view of that simple scene – pouring love into love. Dyer poured his love out all over this Earth – and we can drink it up and move forward with our lives a little bit healthier, a little bit richer, and a little bit surer than before.
In this classic interview with Sell- ing Power, Dr. Dyer shared his own formula for motivating himself.
SP: What is your definition of motivation? Wayne Dyer: I believe that the only motivation is inner motivation. You can’t get anyone to do anything until he or she is ready to do it; and you can’t teach anyone anything until he or she is ready to learn it.
SP: Do you think that people make an active decision to be motivated? Wayne Dyer: It may sound strange and contradictory, but I think that everything every human being knows, he or she made a decision to know. The same is true for motivation. If people don’t decide they are going to be motivated, then no amount of pushing will get them there.
SP: Do you have an example of that from your own life? Wayne Dyer: Oh, sure. When I was in school and took geometry, I just wasn’t ready for it. But the school said I had to take it and they pushed me at it with great force and tried to shove it down my throat. A whole year later, I was studying with a favorite teacher, and then I made a decision to know geometry. I got an “A” in it.
SP: Did that teacher play a role in your decision?
Wayne Dyer: Yes, he did. His role was to provide an atmosphere where I could motivate myself – and he did that beautifully.
SP: A lot of people talk about creating a special atmosphere that allows others to shine. What are the charac- teristics of that state? Wayne Dyer: First there has to be an acceptance of where the other person is rather than where you would like him to be. That’s very important. This acceptance has to be unconditional and nonjudgmental. Next comes humor. Being able to provide a fun environment – where life is not taken so seriously – is very important in creating an atmosphere where others can flourish. I think, if you look at all your most favorite people, the one characteristic that runs through them all is that they know how to laugh. I call this an unhostile sense of humor.
SP: Does that mean an open sense of humor where the cynicism has been removed? Wayne Dyer: Yes. Also where there’s the ability to laugh at oneself. For instance, onstage I always talk about my baldness and the dumb things I’ve done in my life. When people see that, they see that you’re not hostile, and that the humor is not negative in any particular way.
SP: Is it important for a teacher or mentor – in order to be a motivating force – to believe that you can do something? Wayne Dyer: Yes, that’s a very important quality, also. The ability of someone else to believe in you helps to instill that belief in yourself and really can help you do much more than you thought you could. You see, most people are afraid of their own greatness.
SP: So a good motivator is a sort of tour guide to your inner potential. Wayne Dyer: Well put. A good
motivator helps you discover your own potential.
SP: Aside from the teacher you mentioned, who else created that climate for you to blossom and grow? Wayne Dyer: Without a doubt, my mother was like that. From age two to ten, I was placed in a foster home and, after that, I lived with my mother. She is a person who always let us know that her life would go on and that it was going to be joyous even if we decided to make decisions that contradicted that. And no matter how tough things got – and she had a really tough life – I don’t think I ever heard her whine or complain.
SP: What was her life like in those days? Wayne Dyer: She got up every morning at five and made lunch for me and my two brothers. We all made our own breakfasts because we had morning paper routes. Then she took three buses to get to work way over to the other side of town and then she had to take three buses to get home after work. She was the sole support of our family. She did it all on a secretary’s salary. My father had abandoned her very early on, and then she had remarried a man who turned out to be an abusive alcoholic, so she divorced him.
SP: What are your memories of your home? Wayne Dyer: Our house was the one that everybody in the neighborhood came to. My brothers and I never sassed back to my mother. We never had to. She provided an environment in which it was OK to be a success or to fail – but, either way, it was OK. My mother always encouraged me to challenge stupid rules and not to sit back and accept things that I saw were wrong.
SP: What kinds of things? Wayne Dyer: Oh, like dress codes in
SELLING POWER OCTOBER 2015 | 27 © 2015 SELLING POWER. CALL 1-800-752-7355 FOR REPRINT PERMISSION.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50