dogsin the city.
MISSION: IMPAWSIBLE DIGGING FOR THE TRUTH.
As most of my readers know, my little sister, Rosie left to chase rabbits and herd ducks in heaven last year. I miss that little Diva. She was funny and annoyingly cute. She’s the only one who shared the Cone of Silence with me when we had secret agent stuff to bark about. That’s right. The CIA (Canine Intelligence Agency) recruited me
when I was a wee pup. My paw prints are officially on file and, according to Mom, pretty much all over the place. Over the years, I’ve honed my stealth maneuvers to perfection. I can “De-Squeak and De- Stuff” any toy within 30 seconds paws down, nab a treat mid-air with my eyes shut and remove all traces of baked on cheesy goodness in a bowl with my patented power-swipe and whisker-lick technology. Let’s face it. I was born to dig up evidence just about anywhere. Everyone knows me as Guinness, but
my secret ID is Agent Canine K9. I go undercovers every day. In fact, I have been known to go undercover so far, that only the tips of my ears can be seen. Of course, I can’t reveal any of my operatives, but we have developed an
Life from a Dog’s Perspective is a series written for The New Barker by Guinness, the Pembroke Welsh Corgi, as told to his human, Lon Martin.
encrypted way to communicate that no cat can crack. When I hear a howl or a bark, my immediate respawnse is to decode the message and respond in kind. No compromise in security, either. Treemail is strictly forbidden on secret missions. Of course, we all know cats are spies. They act all purry, wrap-
ping their furry bods up next to humans, but beware of the CAT SCAN! They are really on an elaborate recon mission for intel, with no doubt, questionable
intent.Their sneaky tactics are suspect, but their coy meows have no effect on me. Any beast that can silently enter a room without even the click of a toenail, cannot be trusted. Canine agents must secure our rendezvous points without
raising a whisker of notice. Good thing for us, ducks are very effective
decoys.They waddle around quacking and distracting them- selves and others so we official CIA ops can carry on the business at paw – all under the radar. Just a quick sniff of the bum is all it takes; no secret handshakes because…well, that would be just plain silly. Lately, I’ve heard we have a new threat in the hood. Some hide
and seek upstart called, Pokémon who claims to “GO”…not far enough away, apparently. After I charge up my puppy power packs, I’m going to find that Pokémon on a search and destroy mission, ‘cause…y’know…Gotta catch ‘em all! Oh, wait! There’s a nap for that.U
76 THE NEW BARKER
www.TheNewBarker.com
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