Mick walks in to Paddy’s barn and catches him doing a striptease in front of a large red vehicle. “Blimey.” says Mick, “What on earth are you doing?” Paddy replies “ Well me and Mary haven’t been getting on too well lately, so I went to a Therapist. He suggested I did something sexy to a tractor.”
A blonde takes her goldfish to the vets and says she thinks it might have a touch of epilepsy as it keeps having fits. The vet says “It looks alright to me.” The blonde says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”
A Man Walks Into A Pub.
A bear walks into a bar an says to the bar tender, "I would like a whisky
and.....................coke." The bar tender says…………………. "What's with the big pause?"
A man tells his drinking partner.
" My wife made me a millionaire." The friend asked,
"And what were you before?" The Man replies,
"A multi-millionaire."
A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini. After he finishes the drink, he looks in his shirt pocket, then orders another double martini. After he finishes that, he again looks inside his shirt pocket and orders another double martini. The bartender says, "I’m intrigued why you keep looking in your pocket ?" The customer replies, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
POPULAR SOCIAL CLUB
Wellington Street, Accrington. November Events
A safe and friendly atmosphere
awaits you at the Ossy Social Club. Always something going on.
For more info visit the clubs website. Rhyddings Street
Oswaldtwistle BB5 3HH 01254 233178
Friday Nights
Entertainment in the Lounge.
Free Pool, Darts & Snooker.
New Teams Welcome.
Sunday Nights Quiz Night.
Also Ballroom Dancing. Free Function Room
Any Night of the Week Including Sat & Sun Also Available During The Day.
Wednesday
Bingo Night 8PM with Johnny 7
To advertise your pub, club or business to households throughout East Lancashire, call: 01254 882100.
Or Visit our website at:
www.thelocalherald.co.uk We now deliver to over 45,000 houses, monthly. It pays to advertise.
Sat 6th Northern Sold 7 Piece Band £5 Entry Fee
Fri 12th Eddies Rock & Roll Dance With Ricky Aron…. Free Entry
Fri 19th Rod Stewart Tribute Show £4 Entry Fee
Large Dance Floor. Tel: 01254 231280
The White Bull
New Lane, Oswaldtwistle. Open 5pm - Late.
Sat - Sun 1pm - Late Food Served 1 - 8pm
Kids Entertainment Sat 6 - 8pm (1st & 3rd Sat, in month) All Functions Catered For.
Function Room Available FOC. Cask Ale Available.
Smooth Bitter From £1.95 Lager From £2.20
01254 231308
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