On Marriage !
Marriage is a great institution; but who wants to live in an institution? Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Marriage is grand... and divorce is about twenty grand. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!). Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
12.
Ernie Wise Born: November. 27, 1925 Died: March. 21, 1999 Born Ernest Wiseman, he was one half of the "Morecambe and Wise" comedy double act. Teamed with Eric Morecambe, they are regarded by many to be Britain's greatest comics. Their famous "Morecambe and Wise Show", particularly the Christmas specials, were a national institution. They attracted huge audiences, with the 1977 Christmas show making the Guinness Book of Records, with the largest British television audience of nearly 28 million viewers. Their shows also attracted many famous people to appear, including Laurence Olivier, Shirley Bassey, Angela Rippon, The Beatles and Glenda Jackson. Many of these stars put themselves up for ridicule as they were invited to appear in one of Ernie's plays “What he wrote.” And who could forget the classic moment when Eric said to Andre Previn, “Look sunshine, I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.” The pair starred in four rather unsuccessful feature films during the 1960s, The Intelligence Men (1965), That Riviera Touch (1966), and The Magnificent Two (1967). In 1983 they made their last film, Night Train To Murder. In 1976, they were both awarded the OBE. Ernest Maxin started choreographing the musical numbers in 1970, and succeeded John Ammonds as producer of the BBC TV shows in 1974. Maxin, who won a BAFTA for the Best Light Entertainment Show for the Morecambe and Wise 1977 Christmas Show, was also responsible for devising and choreographing many of their great musical comedy routines including "The Breakfast Sketch", "Singin' in the Rain", and the homage to South Pacific, "There is nothing like a dame" featuring BBC newsreaders in an acrobatic dance routine. Probably their most famous song was "Bring Me Sunshine". A standard gag at the end of each show was for a large lady (Janet Webb) to appear behind the pair, walk to the front of the stage and push them out of her way. She would then recite: “ I’d like to thank you for watching me and my little show here tonight. If you’ve enjoyed it then it's all been worthwhile. So until we meet again, goodnight, and I love you all! ” The Morecambe and Wise 43-year partnership ended in 1984, when Eric Morecambe died of a heart-attack. Ernie passed away on 21st March 1999, following a series of heart attacks.
7.
A woman answered the phone to hear a very repentant voice. “I’m so sorry darling, you can have the Rolls Royce as a wedding present, and of course we can buy the Villa in Marbella with the yacht and the private mooring. And of course your mother can live with us. Now will you marry me?” “Of course I will.” replies the woman. “ And who is this calling?”
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