Modern Dads and the Women Who Love Them
4 Practical Ways You Can Help Your Man be the Best Dad He Can Be
by John Badalament
In the past 15 years, there has been a sea change in how we define a “good father.” Dads today are expected to be involved in their kids’ lives in a way fathers have never been before. It’s no longer unusual to see men holding babies in a front carrier, changing a diaper, or at story hour. The Na- tional Center for Fathering found that between 1999 and 2008, there were major increases in the percentage of dads who take their children to school, attend class events, help their kids with extracurricular activities, and at- tend parent-teacher conferences.
This shift toward involved father- hood didn’t happen because men woke up one day and decided we needed more diaper chang- ing stations in men’s bathrooms. As women have moved into the workforce, many dads – some by choice, others by necessity – have begun to be more active at home. While the average dad is doing far more than his father, time-use studies have found that moms – working or not - still do about 70% of the housework and childcare.
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June/July 2010
The great news is that being an involved dad brings a wealth of riches – to kids, to moms, and most especially to the dads themselves. The bad news is that modern dads have a lack of role models, mostly inflexible work- places, and relatively few parent- ing resources. In other words, most dads are, for better and for worse, creating and shaping this new role on the fly.
No longer able to rely on the traditional roles, ‘man the bread- winner/woman the caretaker,’ modern dads today have an un- precedented opportunity to rede- fine a more involved and healthier version of fatherhood for genera- tions to come. The question is whether or not we – and here I’m speaking to both moms and dads – will seize this opportunity.
Modern moms can have a tremen- dous influence on how this next chapter of fatherhood plays out. The chances of a dad succeed- ing at being highly involved in his kids’ lives are much better if his wife, partner, or co-parent is behind the mission.
Here are some things Moms might consider when it comes to
supporting men in being the best Dads they can be:
Understand the legacy of your own father. Your expec-
tations for how your husband, partner or co-parent fathers are influenced to a large degree by the father you grew up with (or
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