The Courage to Stop
Playing Small
By Fia Crandall
Do you get a sense that you may be playing small in your life? A sense that you may be holding yourself back from what is really possible, from stepping up to some- thing bigger that you are meant to be and do?
As a spiritually conscious woman who is also likely very sensitive, it is easy to be influenced by fears that lie just beneath the surface. This can happen without you even realizing as fear is often so tricky that you don’t even notice that it’s there. And because it’s so tricky, you may not realize just how much it is impacting your ability to fully step up to be the light that deep down you know you are meant to be.
I came into this life with a deep sense of fear that I really could feel and I allowed this fear to shape much of my life. There was the fear of judgment, fear of not being perfect, fear of being taken the wrong way, fear of making mis- takes, and the list goes on. With- out realizing it at the time, this fear had even caused me to choose a
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career that was “acceptable” to the outside world rather than to con- sider exploring what really called to my heart.
When I look back now, it feels like lifetimes ago. Where there was deep fear in me before, there is now courage. Where there was restriction before there is now freedom and authentic self- expression. Where I held myself back before, now my adventurous side comes out to pull me into new territory. Where before playing small was normal, I am now playing bigger than ever and loving every minute of it.
The truth is, smallness and fear are not even close to the Truth of your being. If you could see what you were really capable of you would be amazed.
Recently I was shown just how much I had grown and just how much fear I had really let go of on my journey. Last fall I went whitewater rafting in the Cana- dian Rockies and it was during this experience that I surprised myself
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beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The fact that I was even going whitewater rafting was an amazing thing in itself, but what amazed me was what happened during that excursion.
Half way through our trip, we pulled up to the side of the river where we were told that we were going to have the opportunity to cliff dive. If you would have asked me even earlier that day I would have told you there was no way I would ever even consider doing such a crazy thing. After all, I do not do well with heights and I can’t really swim.
Yet there it was, a feeling welling up from deep inside me. An excite- ment, an enthusiasm that had me saying “I think I’m going to do it!” I had no idea where this was coming from. It surprised and amazed me that this voice of enthusiasm and excitement was far more powerful than the voice of fear. In fact, the voice of fear was not really present at all.
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