Fifty
same boat. Quitting an oppressive job may be a necessary objective, but getting a wardrobe together for the job search may revise your self- image, which can make tak- ing a life- changing risk imaginable. Moreover, changing the metabolism of your days is not only about adding on experiences; it may be just as much of a healthy shake- up to pull back from a time commitment, an emotional involvement, or a long- standing responsibility. The change can even be a one- time thing. I know a woman who dared herself to sign up for a Harley motorcycle course for women over forty. She did, and she loved it. But, she says, she’d never do it again. “Just driving a motorcycle that one time set me free!” Big or small, moving forward or retreating, a change of any kind gets the currents moving.
Suzanne Braun Levine is a writer, editor and nationally recognized authority on women and family issues, and media. She chronicled and fostered change in women’s lives as the first editor of Ms. magazine and today as a contributing edi- tor of More magazine. She is a lecturer, appears frequently on television, and is an advisor to several women’s and media groups, and organizations dealing with midlife issues
She has defined a new stage of life – Women in Second Adulthood – and re- ports on the ongoing changes in women’s lives in her books and on her website
www.suzannebraunlevine.com.
©2010. The above is an excerpt from Fifty is the New Fifty: 10 Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood by Suzanne Braun Levine. Reprinted with permission Plume & Hudson Street Press.
Interview With
Suzanne Braun Levine
Aspire: I love the term you coined “Second Adulthood” please explain what you mean by that?
I use the term Second Adulthood – which is actually Gail Sheehy’s – to describe a new time of life that has been created by three forces: that we are living longer healthier lives; that we are at a moment in history when women over 50 have lived a first adulthood of chal- lenge, success, independence, and confidence; and the empowering sense of curiosity about What’s Next. All of these factors make us ready, willing, and able to make the transition to a totally new stage of life.
Aspire: Suzanne, at what age did you first notice the inner inklings of your midlife awakening?
Somewhere around my fiftieth birthday I noticed that I was becoming spiritually restless and emotionally confused. Sure, some of that was due to menopause, but I sensed that something more profound was going on. As I looked ahead to an estimated 25 more years in which to take part in this world, I asked myself the question that so many women ask around this time – What do I want to do with the rest of my life? That is not an easy ques- tion, because to answer it with authenticity I need to figure out who the “I” is asking that question. After a lifetime of fulfilling prescribed roles – daughter, wife, mother, employee – it is terrifying to look at a stage of life for which there is no script. We each need to write our own. So the first step toward the rest of our lives is a stretch of time – I call it the Fertile Void – in which we confront many of the same issues that we encountered at ado- lescence, when we made the transition to our first adulthood. We need to find honest an- swers to the questions – who am I? Whom do I love? What are my goals? My values? What to I want to change about my life now that I have the chance to explore new frontiers?
Aspire: What wisdom can you share with those of us fast approaching 50?
Be patient with yourself. It takes time to evaluate your life. You may not find answers to your questions the first time around; you will surely come up with new questions. Old insights may not apply, because you are not who you were, only older. It may be very hard to move off the mark of confusion, but don’t be too hard on yourself. A step at a time. Remember nothing changes if nothing changes. And most of all care for yourself. As I say in Fifty Is The New Fifty, it is time to Do Unto Yourself As You Have Been Doing Unto Others.
Aspire: Can you share the greatest gifts and insights women can experience if they allowed themselves to embrace aging?
I wouldn’t advise women to “embrace aging” so much as embrace the opportunity of becoming your best self at a time in your life when you have the freedom and courage to do that. There are also many breakthroughs along the way: the first time a woman hears herself say “I don’t care what people think anymore” she is on the way to the empowering discovery that “no” is not a four-letter word. Saying no to requests, demands or guilt trips frees up the spirit to say “yes!” to a Second Adulthood that is yours, because you created it yourself.
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