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THE GUESTLIST NETWORK
www.guestlist.net
Baddest Bitch KREAYSHAWN
Rap’s new brainchild may look like an innocent little girl from California, but like her song ‘Gucci Gucci’ says, she is not a ‘basic bitch’. Kreayshawn, ladies and gentlemen, is a bad bitch
1) She makes spelling like a 14-year-old on MSN look cool again. Can anybody say K2345h4wn?
2) Not only does she rap but she studied at film school, directs Lil B’s and Soulja Boy’s videos and is soon shooting the first single from the Red Hot Chili Peppers album, I’m with You. The girl is a genius, and she has definitely used the word ‘ominous’ on Twitter.
3) Have you seen her?! The girl is fine and her liquid eyeliner game is on point.
4) Snoop and Lil’ Wayne have worked with her. She has been saluted by the O.G.’s. Somebody get her a crown.
5) She has perfected the generic rapper shout- outs with her chipmunk- esque voice. Ahem... ‘Freee V-Naaaasty’.
Check out the video ‘Gucci Gucci’ on
kreayshawn.com
Issue 31 / September 2011
Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
YOUR HOROSCOPE by Fin Carew - follow @Fincarew Feb 20 - Mar 20
Pisces
Angry Birds will make you hugely frustrated, giving intense pleasure to people like me who will watch over your shoulder.
Leo Jul 24 - Aug 23
Try to pretend you’re not in a rush to download heaps of illegal porn (even if masturbating at the window while you wait for attractive people on passing bus adverts is losing its appeal).
You will discover Jersey Shore, TV’s way of giving fat men and small-breasted women better sex appeal (i.e. ANYTHING but these J.S. c*nts will do).
Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23
If you MUST grow a beard please be aware that it’ll prob- ably look like you put Pritt-Stick on your face and threw cat hair all over yourself.
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20
You will have a dream that blood- sucking mosquitoes are biting you. It’s your brain’s way of telling you nobody likes you.
Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23
Your one consolation for being hungover will be that it’s pretty much a prerequisite for pizza.
Taurus Apr 21 - May 21
Guys - just because shaving makes your face more visible it doesn’t mean you should grow a beard. Girls - keep shaving because society demands it.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22
You will watch the child on the bus shooting innocents with his fingers with nostalgia, because you remember showing tell-tale signs of being a serial killer too.
Gemini May 22 - Jun 22
The phone bill will arrive. It’ll be about as welcome as a cat shit- ting on your face first thing in the morning and then laughing about it with all of its cat friends.
Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21
You will take a personality test. You will get an F.
Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23
You will discover the education channel is about as likely to give you an education as microwaving your face is likely to turn you into the Incredible Hulk.
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
If your friends are repeatedly tell- ing you that you are smart, you’re probably thick as shit.
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