Issue 29 / July 2011


Issue 30 / August 2011


Issue 31 / September 2011


NOTICE BOARD www.guestlist.net


63 Come and confide in


Dear Aunty Margaret, My girlfriend just left me and there ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone. From Will Bithers


Dear Will,


I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Love Aunty M x


Dear Aunty Margaret, I’ve recently got myself into some real problems and have no idea how to deal with them...I’m desperate! My parents got divorced and I couldn’t deal with being at home so I ran away. Naturally, I started hanging out with the ‘wrong’ people and taking heroin. Now I’m hooked and am having sex for money to pay for my habit. I don’t know what the hell to do?! I spent my last 50p on the stamp for this letter because you’re the only person that can help me! Chrissy


Dear Chrissy,


DANCERS REQUIRED


DANCERS REQUIRED


TABLE AND POLE DANCING


HAMMERSMITH - SWISS COTTAGE - HOLBORN - EUSTON TOWER BRIDGE - COVENT GARDEN


Big Money potential. No Experience Necessary


ARE YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE WITH A GOOD FIGURE, LIVELY PERSONALITY AND A GOOD COMMAND OF ENGLISH?


For more details go to www.secrets-clubs.com or call 020 8563 7974


Swap heroin for Pringles; just as addictive and much less damaging. Your welcome, love Aunty M x


Deaw Aunty Mawgawet, My fweindth keep laughing at the way I thpeak and they thay I’ve got a thpeech pwoblem. My pawenth thay theweth nothing wong with me but motht people I meet thtawt laughing when I fiwtht talk. Do you weckon there’th thomething wong with the way I thpeak? Fwom Wothie


Dear Rosie, Absolutely not. Love Aunty M x


Dear Aunty Margaret, I have decided to get in touch with you because I have been plagued by about a hundred problems recently and it has got me questioning myself and my life. Honestly, had my sweetheart not been by my side, I do not believe I could have pulled through such an enormity of problems. Respectfully, Hay Y


Dear Hay, So you’ve got 99 problems but the bitch ain’t one? From Aunty M x


POSITION AVAILABLE


THE GUESTLIST NETWORK MEDIA SALES EXECUTIVE


We are now seeking talented sales professionals to help maintain our steady growth. You will be responsible for selling an array of products and services including print and digital media.


With a very aggressive expansion plan in place, we require people who want to develop as fast as we do. We are looking for bright, articulate and passionate people who have a track record of doing business at senior director level.


The Guestlist Network offers excellent growth opportunities selling a product that already enjoys support by market leading brands. Working in an experienced team, you will be given the best opportunity to shine.


The successful candidates will have a background in B2B, either print media or electronic business information sales, be a self starter with an excellent work ethic and record of sales success.


Email your cv to berry@guestlist.net or call 020 7247 7408


NAME THAT TUNE


Everyone loves a good brain teaser, so try and work out which song each of these lyrics comes from and who it’s by. Unless you can think of a better way to pass the time on the underground...


1 : “Man I smashed it like a idaho potato!” 2 : “Now that I’m sober you ain’t that fine, mmm” 3 : “Shorty, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel” 4 : “I’m thinking it’s a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they’re perfectly aligned” 5 : “I say the right things but act the wrong way, I like it right here, but I can- not stay”


1 : Mos Def, ‘Ms Fat Booty’ 2 : Dr Dre, ‘Xxplosive’ 3 : Shaggy, ‘Angel’


4 : The Postal Service, ‘Such Great Heights’Jackson, ‘The Girl is Mine’ 5 : The Strokes, ‘Hard To Explain’


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