You Were My Favorite Hello And My Hardest Goodbye.
by Coleen Ellis
There she was, all two pounds of her, sharing an empty fish tank with a fright- ened Doberman puppy. The little Terrier- Schnauzer mix was acting as the spokes- dog for both of them. I fell head over heels in love. To this day, I’m not certain if I gave her my heart, or if she just stole it. Either way, I was all hers. Mico ruled my house the moment we
walked through the door. She commanded a presence wherever she went. Every situ- ation was just one big beautiful adventure for Mico. Her confidence, fearlessness and shear excitability were all so much fun to watch. I knew that she was teaching me a lesson as well. “Don’t just be in life, be a part of it,” became our motto. In an instant, reality brings me back
to 2003. That happy memory was 14 years earlier, 1989, when I adopted Mico from the Humane Society of Wichita. Now, I was standing outside an operating room being summoned by the veterinarian to come in and say good-bye to Mico. She would not be waking up from the surgery. The lung cancer had spread across her little body. How do you sum up 14 years of love
and life in just a few minutes; to tell some- one what she’s meant; to thank her for what she’s done? ‘I love you’ seemed so small, but that’s all I had left to say, over and over and over again. Then, she was gone. We moved forward with the final
arrangements for her precious little body. Unfortunately, the options presented did not measure up to the caliber of being Mico was to me. She deserved more than to be treated like an animal. Suddenly, I was not only having to deal with the death of my dog, a family member, but I was being put in a position to hear of death care options that were so disrespect- ful and lacking in dignity, that I thought my heart would break into a million pieces. Reluctantly, we moved forward with
her final arrangements. Right then, I made a promise to her that pet parents
80 THE NEW BARKER Coleen and Mico.
would have more options and not be caught in that turmoil at such a vulnera- ble moment. My vow to Mico back then continues today through my company, The Pet Loss Center. We provide a variety of ways to educate, guide and journey with people through this vast wilderness of pet death care and grief. It has been a journey of companioning for those who need it, and a journey of wonderment for those who are searching. We can ignore it, we can hate it and
we can say it won’t happen. However, the death of a beloved pet is a “when” event versus an “if” event. Not talking about it, vehemently hating it and denying it will certainly not make it go away. As tough as it might sound, understanding the options available when that inevitable day comes will help a loving pet parent make sure the end-of-life walk is as peaceful, honor- able and dignified as possible. Not to mention, knowing that months later, a still-grieving pet owner can look back on that end-of-life moment and know in their heart that the end was perfect. There were no “I wish I would’ve” thoughts, no “I didn’t know” thoughts and no regrets.
It’s interesting that we plan more for
a vacation, a birthday party, or a holiday than we do for the one event that will happen to every living being. Our death. Take some time to give this event its due respect of making sure it’s fully represen- tative of a life well lived. As macabre as it might sound, asking
questions ahead of time to understand what will be the perfect way to celebrate the life shared with a special pet will actu- ally aid in the grief felt after their death. Questioning the various options to honor a pet helps in removing the fear of the unknown on a variety of levels, from the care of a pet’s physical body after the death, to other opportunities such as having a paw print or a fur-clipping of your special friend. Some pet parents have opted to know
the exact day of their pet’s transition with the scheduling of a euthanasia. These final days are special gifts to create those final memories, from inviting others who loved the pet for a last celebration, to possibly the fulfillment of a bucket list of activi- ties.Whatever it is that is representative of the life shared, take some time to reflect on how to best honor that chapter, and to forever capture and memorialize that love through rituals and final days, chock-full of meaningful memories.
U
The Pet Loss Center is growing locations across the United States and Florida including: Tampa (813.999.4049) Melbourne (321.821.4871) Miami (305.223.6515).
ThePetLossCenter.com
www.TheNewBarker.com
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