COMPASSION
Cornelia’s life was marked by much suffering, most often at the hands of those she loved most or who had some responsibility for her in the Church. Given much of the treatment meted out to her, by her husband or by some members of the hierarchy, she may well have thrown in the towel and moved on, away from the Church which she loved but which often failed to understand or support her in her work. Then there were the tragedies such as the loss of her children, either by death or separation, which must have tried her faith sorely. There were betrayals and defections from the Society which caused her grief too. Suffering can make us bitter or better. In Cornelia’s case, suffering (physical, mental and emotional) forged a soul rich in compassion. Not mere kindliness or thoughtfulness, but a maternal love which extended to those in pain, feeling with them and doing all in her power to ease their suffering. She had prayed “Give me O Lord, a love full of action.” And she had meant it.
RESPECT
In times past, it was made very clear to whom one owed respect: viz. our ‘elders and betters’. These days, it is given to those who are seen to have earned it, which seems fairer. However, it is more true to hold that respect is due to each person regardless of position, age, race or religion, because all are God’s own children, in whose sight all stand equal. With wonderful breadth of thought and understanding Mother Connelly claimed: ‘I’m cosmopolitan, the whole world is my country; and heaven is my home.’
Besides, not only does mutual respect makes life far easier, it makes it possible. Mother Connelly recognised that. In the Book of Studies she writes that “The Mistresses (Teachers) shall on all occasions show great respect for each other…the pupils must be watched over and spoken to with the greatest sweetness and charity. They will never respect anyone who does not respect herself.”
Cornelia sought to engender in her sisters and pupils mutual trust, and above all, reverence, towards each other, towards the poor, towards all human beings – because God himself became one such in the person of the Holy Child Jesus. It is noticeable that she spoke of the Teachers and Sisters as watching over their charges, rather than watching them. There was to be no espionage; instead the girls were encouraged by a system of merits and rewards. They were trusted to be and do good.
The Old Cornelian SUMMER 2017
COURAGE
It is a sad fact that many men have felt themselves threatened by strong women. Such terms as ‘mulier fortis’ or ‘femme formidable’ have often been used unkindly of purposeful females and Cornelia, one such woman, found herself called ‘bold’. Frankly, she had to be or she would never have achieved all she did. Her feisty spirit is evident in her view that “Difficulties exist only to be overcome.” At Mayfield, the girls are encouraged to say what others dare not say, to challenge injustice and to face the consequences of doing so. The knowledge that they are living in an environment where there is strong pastoral care and concern for the individual, gives the student strength to go on when things get tough. Hence Cornelia’s encouragement to proceed in the face of a challenge: “We never know what we can do until we try. Perseverance gains the crown”.
JOY
Visitors to Mayfield often remark on the happy atmosphere of the school. St Paul identified Joy as one of the fruits of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – the hallmark of a Christian. Such joy, so clearly evidenced in the likes of St Philip Neri, founder of the Oratorians, isn’t simply a natural cheerfulness or good-humouredness, expressed in smiles and laughter, but comes from the fundamental knowledge that one is loved by God and called into communion with him. Such knowledge enables the Christian soul to remain joyful even in the darkest moments. Mother Connelly is a real example of one who was able to retain this sense of joy when life was bleak and circumstances threatened to overwhelm her peace. “Bear adversities with endurance—then with willingness—then with joy”, she advised. “Sustain a bright and joyful spirit,” “It is not presumption to have hope, and joy and confidence in God’s grace.” “Be full of joy!”
GRATITUDE MOTHER
CONNELLY MOST
“
DEFINITELY, SOMEONE WHO
PRACTICED WHAT SHE
PREACHED, LIVING BY HER
PRINCIPLES ”
Gratitude isn’t something that can be forced or feigned, but stems from an appreciative awareness of one’s good fortune. In our modern world, there is almost a universal sense of entitlement, which leads to an erosion of a genuine thankfulness. If we fail to see life as a gift, then we cannot see any need to express gratitude. Again, Cornelia taught her sisters and, we may assume, the girls, that one may even find reasons to be thankful when things go wrong or things don’t turn out as we would have them. “One single “Thanks be to God” and “Blessed be God” uttered in adversity is of more avail than a thousand thanksgivings in a day of prosperity.” Whatever comes “Continue to praise, love and thank God.”
CONCLUSION
The principles or virtues, outlined so briefly here, found expression in Mother Connelly’s life – they sprang from her deep Christian faith and were formed by her experience as a wife, mother and religious. Her experience of life was vitally influential in the way she was to build the Society of the Holy Child Jesus and informed in a major way, her educational philosophy and praxis. She was a woman who dreamed dreams but as far as was possible, was strong and sacrificing enough in spirit to make those dreams a reality. Above all, it was her profound faith in the Incarnation, the central tenet of the Catholic Faith, which shaped her life and work: the belief that, ‘the Word was made flesh’ and shared our common humanity. She wanted her girls to grow up as the Holy Child grew up, so that they might live as did the Adult Jesus, compassionately, justly, with integrity and generosity. Cornelia understood very well that the vocation of each soul born, is to become more fully human, more themselves, more the self God wants them to be. It is to be hoped that, despite the great changes seen in the world and the Church and indeed Mayfield since her death in 1879, Cornelia, should she return, find the place still true to her vision and ideals.
OC
Fr Dominic Jacob Cong. Orat. Priest in residence 2015-16
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