FOCUS: MEN'S THRIVABILITY


Recognising dads


When we help to create a more satisfying experience for dads during the pregnancy and birth experience it flows on to a more positive effect on the entire family’s bonding.


by Erika Munton T


imes have changed and dads, predominantly in Western culture, are now expected to


be an active part of the birth support process and baby care. Did you know, however, that these men are still often the first or maybe second man in their genealogy to be doing what has been traditionally women’s work? Men don’t have many stories yet to share on how they do this well. It’s a new phenomenon in evolution


that the model ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ is diminishing and the nuclear family is becoming the dominant family structure. The pressure is on dads and other mothers (non-birthing partners) to take on the primary support role for birth, breastfeeding, and caring for their newborn. The father now often takes the place of the mother, aunty,


sister, etc, and the expectation is that he will learn these new skills quickly and navigate this emotional landscape well. Our health care system, community


services, family culture, and personal expectations have a way to go to fully understand what a man’s needs are as they face these changes and new responsibilities. If we care about this, and want both parents to start family life feeling more confident, informed and able to give their baby the best care possible, it would help to integrate men into family life through support, education, and guidance.


EXPECTANT AND NEW DADS NEED OUR ATTENTION Not only does a father have new expectations placed on him, but his family can influence him in other ways too. Their attitudes, values, knowledge, care factor, skills, and stories (or lack thereof) can influence his involvement and willingness to step up and make the necessary changes to adapt to caring for his family and himself in a healthy way. We also need to treat with respect


Simon and son. Stan Trainedes, Icon Art Photography.


cultural diversity, as some cultures agree with dads supporting this integration, while others do not. Teaching the value of his active involvement and showing care for his needs can help change these beliefs, habits, and feelings to create a better outcome for the whole family. There is a lot of growth and change


necessary for all of us, and for this to happen within any of us: l We need to feel safe in our learning environment, as change can make us feel vulnerable.


l We need inspiration and encouragement for the effort this takes.


88 SEPTEMBER | OCTOBER 2017


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