I began to find translations of sex manuals and ‘nourishing life’ texts from as far back as the 3rd Century BCE (Damone, 2008). With my TCM background and my education in pranayama yoga, I began to find parallels in the two traditions and began the process of interpreting these enigmatic texts and experimenting with the techniques described. What I soon discovered was that
my problems with PE began to shift. I was lasting longer during sex, and for the most part continued to choose to ejaculate, and separate it from orgasm. The following are some of the most
profound lessons I learned from the ancient ‘nourishing life’ texts.
“It is important to be calm, yet sexually aroused.” The common thread amongst these texts, all of which were written between around the 3rd Century BCE to the 16th Century CE was the importance of exciting the sexual energy whilst at the same time remaining calm. The southern sect of the Complete
Reality School advocated for ‘dual cultivation’ practices (that is, practising sexual alchemy as a couple), especially for those who came to the work later in life.
This method was only effective for aiding longevity and spiritual enlightenment if the couple released their attachment to desire and lust throughout the process. Once this level of non-attachment was achieved, excitation of the sexual energy would lead to the level of mindfulness which these Daoist practitioners were ultimately seeking. What I developed through this
practice was a level of presence that allowed me to be aware of my own internal levels of excitement whilst remaining calm (thus, not tense either emotionally or physically).
“You can tell what is best by how the woman sighs in response.” Presence also brought me to be totally responsive to my lover’s movements, needs, and her own level of excitation. I learned to match her, thus holding her long enough to open into her own waves of orgasmic pleasure. As it states in the ‘Talk on Supreme
Guidance for the World’ (Cleary, 2003: 442): “A man who is a good lover does not precede the woman…Make sure to be gentle to maintain self-control, so you do not climax when on the brink of climax. Then the woman will be greatly delighted.”
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IMAGE: CLEM ONOJEGHUO
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