FOCUS: MEN'S THRIVABILITY


Men: are you ok? Let’s talk!


While there is more awareness being raised about men's mental health, there are still many opportunities for improvement and greater efforts in schools and work places.


by Gemma Di Bari


A NEW WAY THROUGH THE PAIN “In every cry of every man…the mind forged manacles I hear.” [William Blake]


As a life coach I have become more aware of the growing concerns of men and the private issues that can plague and lead them into a vortex of anxiety and depression. A series of thought- provoking questions can help to open up a tiny gap into which a light can shine. What men come to understand is that there is always a new way through their pain; a better, more productive way. With that comes a spark of hope - small in the beginning, but with the possibility of a more balanced, peace- filled existence. “And one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.” [Shakespeare]


In one lifetime men go through many stages and changes. From birth to


80 SEPTEMBER | OCTOBER 2017


death, they embrace different roles for many people, experiencing a multitude of emotions and feelings.


MEN, ROLE MODELS, AND ROAD MAPS As boys become men they look to their role models for advice, approval, love, and acceptance. And who are their role models? In his youth a boy looks up to his father as the person he wants to follow, emulate, and mimic. From his childhood to his teens he begins to look further afield for a hero, often with his focus turning towards sports idols and the like. As a young man moving towards his life’s work he may look to other successful men in the hope of replicating the success he sees and wants for himself. It’s all well and good to have a role


model but without a road map things can get confusing. Advertisements sell the image that being successful is about what he wears, the car he drives, and the job he has. On the


other hand, he’s being told he should be more demonstrative with feelings and words. Do this, say that. So many mixed messages which can lead to confusion. A man with all his victories, hurts, possibilities, ideas, dreams, and realities must navigate the occasional rough waters of life.


SPEAKING UP ABOUT DEPRESSION One in eight men will experience depression at some stage of life. That’s a sad fact, which thankfully is being discussed more openly. Nonetheless there is still a stigma attached to seeking help. Often men are willing to praise and support the friend or sports star who comes out about his depression, he just doesn’t want to be the one who admits it about himself. Young boys at secondary school are also feeling more pressure to perform academically, socially, on the sporting field, and in other areas. This leads to a pressure cooker situation which can


IMAGE: CLEM ONOJEGHUO


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