Thinking about me…


“I am thinking about becoming visible to myself and what that means for my self-care.


I am worthy… of being whole, of having my own strength.“ Taru, aged 43


When a woman or man starts to focus on themselves and nurture their own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, it can feel like moving to a foreign country. It can be normal to experience feelings of guilt when starting to put attention on personal needs. However, no matter how uncomfortable it is at first, it is possible to learn new life-affirming patterns of self-care. Some describe this experience as becoming visible to themselves.


It may help to recognise that your life is complex and made up of distinctive, unique parts and that the experience of abuse is just one of these parts - it need not define you. Remaining connected to the present and to your roles in daily life may help to put the abuse in its place, so that you are not allowing it to take up too much space. You may be a student, a daughter, a mother, a father, a son, a friend, a teacher, or a worker. Perhaps others have noticed some of the strengths and skills that you have developed - for example, that of being an advocate, a carer, a thinker. These parts of you are important because they make up who you are at any given time; sometimes they change or develop but they are what make you uniquely ‘you’.


“I want to know who I am and be free. I want to know and like myself. “ Samsara age 30


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