Supporting people close to you who have experienced sexual abuse


“I told my partner”


Your partner may also wish to talk with a counsellor about the impact your experience of abuse has had on them.


For Partners


The impacts of sexual abuse in childhood can sometimes filter into adult life and adult sexual relationships. This may not always happen, but if it does, it can cause disruption, misunderstanding and hurt for both people.


When individuals are haunted by memories or fears from past abuse, having someone on their side can make a huge difference for them. By working individually and together, caring for each other and being clear that the abuser is responsible for the sexual abuse and its impacts, couples can stand together against the impact of the abuse, containing its influence and refusing to allow it to divide them.


It may be hard for a loving partner to understand they cannot take away the pain or ‘fix this’. They cannot just ‘make it ok’ or make it go away. However, they can learn more about the impacts of abuse so they can offer support with greater understanding.


It may be helpful to remember that neither of you are responsible for this pain and distress. The responsibility lies with the person who decided to sexually abuse.


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