In the spirit of CROSSHIRE We continue our column with the thoughts of another new contributor, Rental Rate Roy. PERMANENTLY OFF-HIRED!


Imagine my intrigue when I was approached one late afternoon by our hire controller with, “I think we have a bit of an issue”. “We don’t have an issue, we have an opportunity,” came my somewhat flippant reply. There followed an uneasy pause with the hire controller shuffling from foot to foot pondering his response. I was invited to come into the yard and have a look at a boom lift which had just been returned from site. The machine in question was unrecognisable from the one supplied to the client one month previously.


The original manufacturer’s colours were nowhere to be seen. The unit was entirely - and I mean entirely - covered in what looked to be a form of concrete. I subsequently found out that the client had been spraying a fire suppressant coating and, by the looks, had budgeted for three litres of the stuff for the ceilings to one litre for our machine! There was not a legible decal or sticker visible on it. The handrails on the basket had increased in diameter by almost 100% and this unit was now sitting in our yard, weighing considerably more than when it had been manufactured.


“Well, I do declare I have seen it all,” was my response. However, my hire controller seemed reticent in joining in with my mild amusement at the wanton destruction of one of the assets from which we derive our livelihoods. “It’s simple enough, just take some pictures, e-mail them over to the client and tell them that they are responsible for the costs and, by the way, it goes on CPA terms - two-thirds hire rate till it is returned to the fleet”.


So our hire controller dutifully scuttled off to impart the news to the client, only to return somewhat ashen faced 20 minutes later. “I told him what you said and he’s not interested,” he advised. “What do you mean, he’s not interested?” I growled, by now the novelty of having some clown destroying our equipment starting to wear thin. “He says that when you gave him the price you agreed that he could send it back like that.” The expletive-ridden rant I then embarked upon lasted a full five minutes, but the gist of it was “Oh really….. I do believe the fellow to be a tad mistaken.”


I rang said customer who was absolutely adamant that I had personally agreed that his team of strategically shaven chimps could systematically destroy the unit in question without any recourse whatsoever. When I enquired as to where this was in writing, he advised that it was not, and neither was his order, so ‘check-mate’. I advised in my calmest voice that this was


not the case and, if he chose to take that stance, then he would be taken to court. His response was priceless. “Do your worst pal, I’m a bigger company than you, we can wrap you up in red tape, run up a massive legal bill and there is no guarantee that you’ll win, so you choose,” at which the odious imbecile put the phone down.


Sadly he was right. We could spend via the legal route and still not achieve the desired result. We took advice, and were told by our solicitors that we had a case, but their letter writing efforts resulting in bills of £180 per letter would very quickly escalate the costs with no guarantee of success.


After much wailing and gnashing of teeth we decided not to bother, but had great pleasure in telling the client that he was more than welcome to hire from our competitors and he would be welcome back to us only when Hell had frozen over!


However, such an experience has made us have a significant rethink as to our approach. So we are now changing our method of hire, and our transport team will be issued with Android tablets. All equipment will be photographed highlighting its condition upon delivery, including the fuel levels, attachments or accessories AND, as a result of recent experiences, we will take a photograph of the batteries which we clearly mark with the company logo, as we have had a recent spate of battery swapping going on whilst on hire.


This will be replicated upon collection and all details will immediately be relayed to the hire office for retention. Gone will be the age-old arguments like: it was like that when it arrived; it came out with no fuel; you didn’t leave the key, so I had to use a screwdriver; we only received one bucket; the glass was cracked on arrival; the tyre was flat on delivery; the bucket was half full of concrete already; and so on….


We, as an industry, need to sharpen up and head off these shyster customers. These assets are the tools with which we derive our living, and the sooner we banish such clients to the permanently off-hired category, the better for all concerned.


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