the last word
What is ‘empathy’ and how does it impact on our relationship with our equines? How good is your ‘feel’ as a rider? How does your vet interact with your horse; what about your farrier – and what is your attitude to fellow competitors? John Collier BHSI draws on his years of experience to deliver...
... the last word Empathy in horsey circles
Empathy, I’m fresh out of it; and it’s no wonder there are so many confused blokes around horses, as they’re always being told to explore their feminine side, but I’d be the first to admit there is a space for it – however... Where there should be a place for it, in dealing with fallen child riders, it’s called inappropriate contact, and that includes your best friend’s mum, so I’ll just pass you a hanky to dry your tears whilst I phone your mum or the nominated person on your contact details. Besides which, horsey mums don’t do empathy – it usually goes like; “get up, get back on, it’s not broken”. In contrast, I think footballers’ mums must be a mardy lot! One of my favourite sayings to people is don’t humanise your horse, as being nice to him will not make him go any better, he will simply take advantage of you. I see this demonstrated often when a pony decides not to box. I am very wary of offering assistance, but after two hours , hearing good boy repeated time and time again, when I want to lock up and go to bed, a lunge line is invariably a good substitute for a bit of empathy.
Yes you might not approve, but he is in the box, so you might then say thank you, leave - and I can go to bed. Farriers seem very hot on empathy, especially with difficult horses. It’s seldom a difficult horse and it is always better behaved when the owner goes off to make a cup of tea !It makes me cringe when I see the ‘my little pony’ brigade kissing their horses, and then kissing their dogs; talk about transferring infections, never mind disfigurement. I feel a lot of empathy towards the school horses, but not when they don’t want to be caught, although for this I have a simple solution. I just get one of the girls to catch up as they have a much better manner than me. It is a factor by which I also judge the vets who come onto the yard, as they have to diagnose, offer treatment, and then give a prognosis. I also feel the empathy they display towards an injured horse can promote recovery. I am not happy to say we have several vets who are not allowed on the yard, but he who pays the piper calls the tune, and it’s not a
cheap option calling out a vet. Thinking of the horses, I said to a woman last week that she had a big horse, and I would get a mounting block, but she misheard what I said and no matter what I said afterwards, she still thought I said she had a big backside. Well now that you have mentioned it... We often use a chair as a mounting block and at a recent standard setting day, a college lecturer was adamant it wasn’t safe, I said it was a good thing to use, as all the fly tipping around means you can often find a chair out hacking to use if you needed to remount, but I had yet to find a mounting block that had been fly tipped. Empathy and feel have a lot in common, so having taught someone the mechanics of riding, they then need to develop ‘feel’, which is a difficult concept to grasp. Normally at this point I tell them to go home and watch Star Wars, feel the force, and then come back and apply it to their riding! At the moment, although riding is a very inclusive sport, the criteria to take part in British Eventing competition are to have an
equine over 137cm, and there is no weight limit. So when you fall off in the showjumping, my natural empathy is to give you a leg up to remount. Unfortunately reality has kicked in, hence your polite request for a leg up will be met with the word NO, along with a statement about the state of my back ! I might even say you have a big horse for that size of pony! But on a serious note, those competitors, grooms and horse owners that display empathy do have a head start over those of us who don’t. I often say ignorance and horses go hand in hand, and very often at horse events, sadly horses do seem to bring the worst out in people. It can take a brave person to step in and say that practise is not acceptable, but it is something we should all do more often, at whatever level. If the sport is to be truly all inclusive, then we need to educate. I was astonished to hear just last week of a family who had bought themselves a pony, and when asked would they need to find a farrier, said no, because it had come with shoes on!
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Equine Page 55
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