JUNE 2013
A
First, know that it wasn’t (and still isn’t) your fault! To have something so precious taken from you without your permission is enough to drive a person into a walking state of silent insanity. It’s a world where nothing makes sense. Second, know that you are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of people who have experienced the same tragedy and are keeping silent because of the fear of being exposed, embarrassment, vulnerability, and shame. Join a discreet support group. You may do an internet search or go to
MeetUp.com and locate one in your area. Lastly, forgive that person (or persons). It doesn’t mean that what they did is excused; it just means that your life is too precious to waste another millisecond in the role of victim. Forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you.
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experience?
What can someone who truly cares do to help an adult friend when they learn about their childhood
Refrain from saying, “I know how you feel” if you haven’t experienced it. Listen with an open heart, offer your support, and help them to find a
professional who can help them to work through it. Also, don’t patronize them because of it. It’s bad enough they have lived with it for so long. They don’t need people to feel sorry for them.
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Q A
What is your advice for victims who are ready to move out of the darkness that has been their life?
First, congratulations for making that decision for yourself! Depending on where you are with it, you may choose to take it slow and talk with just one trusted source, or you may be ready for a group. Or, you may want to do lectures about it, or write a book to expose this under-represented epidemic. Either way, start talking.
Can you provide 2-3 resource links that you believe are the most helpful for victims of sexual abuse?
www.MaleSurvivor.org
Abuse)
www.ascasupport.org, HAVOCA (Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse)
www.HAVOCA.org
it’s not just girls who are victims), ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child
(because
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