SIMPLE STEPS REAL CHANGE MAGAZINE


and wasting so much money. And, we must become responsible for the fact that we are allowing ourselves to be controlled rather than being in control of ourselves.


The bottom line is that to better our life, we have to better ourselves—first, by defining the acceptable behavior we want from ourselves: to be a non- smoker. Second, by setting a boundary with ourselves to not smoke, period. And third, to remain focused on keeping the “I refuse to smoke even one” boundary in place.


The last one is huge because, yes, there were many times I was not popular with myself for striving to change for the better. While I was getting over the withdrawals of smoking, there were countless times I wanted just one more cigarette. But the boundary I had set was not to pick up even one cigarette, ever again.


To be stronger than the addiction, temptation, and my countless rationalizations, I had to focus with tunnel vision on keeping the boundary firmly in place. Concentrating on the boundary I set for myself gave me the willpower to stop smoking, cold turkey. It has been many years since I put cigarettes down, and the boundary of not having even one cigarette remains in place.


Our success in breaking a negative habit depends on preparing ourselves. To stop smoking, we must completely accept that we cannot allow ourselves to pick up even one cigarette. We must accept that it will take at least a month until we have passed the point of having the physical or psychological desire to smoke.


We can accomplish anything we want when we love ourselves enough to take the actions necessary to remain in control of our behavior. We do not listen


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to the rationalizations of our mind that say we can have just one. No, we listen to the higher wisdom of our heart that says I CAN do this! I am worth it. Yes, I do love myself enough NOT to pick up even one.


Taking control of our behavior this way is really the key to winning over any undesirable habit. We replace a negative habit with a new, self-loving and self- respectful, positive habit.


By developing the positive behaviors necessary to stop a negative habit, we become self-aware. With greater awareness over our actions, our heart opens and we move forward, with a new sense of empowerment and responsibility, avoiding behaviors that hurt ourselves and others.


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