JUNE 2013
the “truth” table, I finally began to wake up, get fed up, and start
the reality about my nasty habit. I honestly admitted
In fact, for 22 years, I had told myself I had to quit smoking. I’d try and fail. Then try again and succeed for a week or two. Each and every time my intentions to quit were good. But after trying again and passing up a cigarette or two, soon I made an excuse to have just one. Then I beat myself up for once again not being strong enough not to smoke. Excusing my lack of commitment, I told myself I was not perfect, I was only human, with faults, and I was allowed to make mistakes.
I tried to change the negative habit for a long, long time. Until I realized I could continue “trying” for the rest of my life. It was that “aha” when I realized quitting smoking—or any other destructive habit—is accomplished not by trying harder, but by “doing.”
To successfully do what was necessary to finally quit, I made a plan of how I would be a non-smoker in one month, and I stuck to the plan. During the first two weeks, I became emotionally responsible for each cigarette. That is, I remained present with and connected to each puff. I stopped doing anything else and just smoked. No eating, watching TV, talking on the phone, or any other distractions.
When I finished each cigarette, I put the butt into a jar with a little bit of water. Each time I wanted a cigarette, I first made myself
smell that nauseating 55
from almost the first cigarette I smoked, I had wanted to stop.
that accepting
mixture. It was revolting; what I imagined I smelled like to a non-smoker.
For the last 10 days leading up to my final-cigarette target date, I dramatically reduced the number I smoked each day. On day one I started with 20, a full pack. The next day I went to 18, the next to 16, then 14, then 12. Over the final five days I limited myself to only five cigarettes per day. By the time Sunday evening rolled around, I was truly anxious to quit. I lit it and smoked it down to the filter and put it into the jar.
I spent the next month retraining myself and my mind. I stayed present, and when I habitually reached for a cigarette, I replaced that action with a new, positive habit of drinking a glass of water, or going on a short walk, or eating a carrot stick, or smelling that vile mixture of cigarette butts. By staying emotionally present with and responsible for my non-smoking actions, I managed not only to quit smoking but also to actually lose five pounds in the process.
As smokers, we may try to quit several times. But to make certain this time is our last, we must become emotionally responsible for the habit. We must courageously face the fact that we live with the constant dread of dying. We must acknowledge that we are continuously sick, smell bad, and have a deep, nasty cough. We must accept the truth that we are intentionally abusing ourselves,
harmful effects of second-hand smoke, exposing others to the
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