S SIMPLE STEPS REAL CHANGE MAGAZINE
empowered you will feel in responding to their natural way of reacting to a demanding world.
My next step was in moving past my intellect and asking Spirit for help. While I had studied child psychology and developmentally appropriate practices at the University level, it wasn’t until I saw my daughter through the eyes of her Creator that I was able to let go of trying to shape her into the child I thought she should be and began to accept her exactly as she was.
The result of taking these two steps was the realization that nothing was wrong. I did not have to fix or change anything. Once we recognize that our children come into physical life exactly as they are meant to be, we become open to doing our work ~ accepting and adoring them as they are.
The challenge, of course, is figuring out how to guide and support a child who cannot play this game of life by the pre- established rules. It sometimes feels impossible to validate their perspective and depth of spirit when we ache for them to be appreciated and accepted by strongly opinionated family, a test oriented school system and a society that lives by hypocritical standards of appropriate behavior.
This challenge led me to the next step, which was giving up my Ego. I had to
stop worrying what other people thought. I had to care more about how my child was experiencing life than looking good in the eyes of friends and relatives. I began to release my own childhood story about being a good girl and pleasing others. I trusted my gut and realized that when my parenting responses felt good, felt connected to the truth of my own soul, felt in alignment with something greater than myself, that I was on the right path. When we stop interpreting our child’s nature as a problem that needs to be corrected, we become free to enjoy our child’s unique sense of self. I discovered that once kids start to feel understood and validated, their sweet, responsible, kind, cooperative dispositions begin to shine through.
This does not mean that we let children run wild and become self-indulgent or irresponsible. We can learn how to create boundaries and set limits within an environment that honors our child’s temperament. I continued to hold high standards while being mindful not to compare my daughter’s responses with the style of her easy-going brother. Her dad and I made a conscious decision to really listen when she said something didn’t feel right, smelled funny, tasted yucky or was too loud. We accepted the probability that she would walk a unique path and we honored her courage and determination to live authentically.
You can make a decision to strengthen your relationship with your children. Create your own first step. Pick a day
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