Path of Parenting The Spiritual


By Vimala McClure


An entirely different picture of “fam- ily” is emerging. Most of the para- digms we have developed over the last millennium are no longer viable. Because our family structures, our values, and our experience of family will continue to change, it is particu- larly important for us to understand that being a good parent and raising healthy, responsible children requires us to be grounded in the deeper meaning of the role of parent. We need to be able to change beyond what may now seem possible to us, and the only way to achieve that is to develop a firm rooting in the spiritual dimension of parenthood.


What I know without any doubt is that bringing everything I came here with, every iota of strength and wisdom, every drop of love and


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loyalty, everything I have to the task, the mission, and the gift of bringing up two souls to live their own lives and fulfill their destinies is the most important thing I have ever done, or ever will do. I don’t expect this singularity of purpose from others, but because of it I have been able to pay close attention to the dynam- ics, the secrets, the lessons of real parenthood -- much more closely, I believe, than many academic experts who observe interactions in artificial environments and offer theories on what is healthy or correct in formulas that rarely work. What I attempt to do, rather, is to go deeper into the idea that parenthood is a mission, however large or small a part it plays in my life. From that perspective, everything I think about parenthood changes. It is no longer a series of


June/July 2011


problems to be solved. It is, instead, an important part of my personal growth and my spiritual path.


Where there is pain there is tension, and that tension creates more pain. Therefore, tension is the opposite of relaxation, probably the most important quality we can develop as parents. When we apply relaxation to pain, it diminishes. Underneath tension is its root -- fear. This is the key, the essence of the spiritual discipline of yielding; the release of fear. Fears and worries assail us at every point along the path of parent- ing.


If you are beginning on that path, let me tell you the truth: it never ends! Until the day we die, our children will produce, in a never-ending


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