Quantum
HEALTH
Issue 10 March 2011
A Mental and Emotional Shake-Up for Men
David R Hamilton, PhD A David Hamilton
s I was growing up and becoming an adult, as a male I learned that I should be strong, in control, avoid the touchy-
feely stuff, and be able to sustain even the most challenging of situations with inner strength.
But that classic male attitude isn’t so healthy for us. It’s actually healthier to let stuff out rather than bottling it up inside. It’s also healthy to show your softer, compassionate side. Some feel that this is a sign of weakness. Actually, as Ghandi said, compassion is a sign of courage and strength.
Men typically bottle up emotions more than women because we have been taught not to show our feelings, that we are supposed to be strong. That might have been a useful strategy during evolutionary times, when being strong was important in conflict and gave loved ones confidence in the male ability to provide food. But we’re in different times now. We’re no longer running around with clubs. We live in a sophisticated world where good relationships with others is key to getting on.
Why should we let stuff out? Well, firstly, when we bottle stuff up it can be a little annoying to our loved ones who want to know who ‘we’ are. But it also stresses the nervous system, as research shows.
Studies show, for instance, that men typically have a higher nervous system response to emotional stimulation than women. In one study, both women and men were shown a set of 25 emotive photographs–photos that would stimulate strong emotion, such as happy children, people who had been severely injured, etc.–and had their autonomic nervous systems (ANS) examined through heart rate and skin conductance measurements.
Men’s ANS responses were generally higher than 24 Quantum Health
the women’s. Women were more likely to express their emotions by talking about how they felt, and research showed that they typically used richer, more expressive, emotional language than men. The higher ANS response in the men was a reflection of the reduced expression of their emotions.
A high ANS response is not very healthy. It might partly explain the much higher incidences of heart disease in men than in women. A high ANS response suggests that the body is under stress, and prolonged stress is unhealthy, especially for the heart.
Suppressing emotion is also linked with a faster rate of progression of some serious diseases, even cancer. It may even be correlated with the thickness of tumours. Those who bottle up negative emotion were found in one research study to have thicker tumours than those who express emotion. And having a high ANS response is linked with this.
Of course, my premise is a broad generalisation because many men are quite emotionally expressive and many women bottle their emotions up, but if you take a large sample of a population what you will find is that men generally express emotions less than women.
As men, we should re-educate ourselves and learn that expressing emotions is a good thing. Not only does it improve the quality of our relationships, but it is much healthier too.
How is expressing love and compassion healthy for us? Research suggests that showing touchy- feely softness is good for the heart. In a study of 150 married couples who were asked to discuss their relationship, those who showed more gentleness towards each other had healthier arteries. Those who were harsher towards each other actually had high levels of arterial
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