THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, October 28, 2010
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it pulls in some other old feelings that got stuck to it when we were growing up. What may have stuck to it? Well, maybe blame for one thing. If you are finding your-
by Dr. Debi Warner Contributing Writer
Dear Dr. Debi, We have much to do next
weekend, we will be just jamming everything in. Clean gutters, fix chim- ney leak, install garage door chain, move bunnies to winter quarters, plus stack wood, mow and rake leaves. I am kind of mad that everyone waited so long to get to these things. What can make this go right? Signed,
Murphy Is Headed Here
Dear Busy Bunnies, Sometimes you might
wonder what to do next, but there is excitement knowing you will be busy with a list like that. Likely you were doing many good things all season, but the other details kind of jam into a list and then simply must be done. Well, the first thing is attitude. Let’s start there. The season is advancing
and plenty of things roll past us for months then suddenly we realize they must be done or things can go wrong. We bolt into gear and start accom- plishing our lists. Let’s see what positives you can get from that list of yours. Maybe you need to turn
from the blame game. How did that happen? Somehow when we have much to do, we might get confused a little, then with the lack of a plan, we might get overwhelmed. Well, the peculiar thing about that feeling is that
self cranky about the list and pointing your finger at everyone, well maybe you need to use that hand for a new task, one with some generous moves. Maybe get some cookies to share while your Home Team gets to review the chore list to see who can do what. Wow, that is dif- ferent and you are out of that funk. An assorted list like
yours will mean lots of roving and changing as- signments. Some tasks need plenty of help to set up and then they are bet- ter to work alone. Let’s use some mini teams in that list assignment and keep things moving. Short team tasks are great for younger folks. Moving ladders and piles is good muscle work and gets over quickly. You can roam around and move the team onto other tasks or dismiss the kids for their other play. If you have included
the kids in tackling this massive list, you will feel better that you had some help and can even call them into later parts of the tasks for a helping hand. It is also good for them to recall in winter that they helped pitch the firewood into the shed so everyone could enjoy the fire. Later
on, you can ask for their help organizing kindling, or getting some more sup- plies for the bunnies. So, what about the grown
ups? What can they do to make the list slide by? Well, unfortunately slide it may if you tackle it as a whole list. We need to break it into chunks. Re- alizing of course that you might not get everything done. Oh no, she said it! It seems like the very worst thing to hear when you are setting into a big undertaking. Almost like it can’t come
true if you don’t wish it all done. Well, sometimes the do-or-die attitude can make us overlook realis- tic limitations, dangers, material weakness, and poor plans. Oh no, again! Whoever has poor plans? Well, most everyone does. And if we hurry and skim past observing the de- tails, we might miss see- ing how we are headed wrong and land just where we jumped. In the mud, again: ladder scratches siding; roof sealer is dried; bunnies get loose; door opener pinches; mower runs out of oil; moan. Boy, isn’t that a nega-
tive? Well, sometimes we need to clear our eyes and just see what is. Not too rosy and not too dark. Your list is grand; use it as a map, but not a con- tract. See how you can ap- ply your know how to the do-able things on that list and have a back up plan for some of the things you
can’t, that are a must-do. If you keep your brain
on every part of the list at once, you may miss those important details, something breaks, you slip, maybe bash your arm, uncomfortable. Slow it down and you will focus again. Kind of like that old Murphy’s law trying to visit, but depending on which way you organize your perspective and your focus, that old Murphy might just slide by. When you hear it knocking on the door, refocus: smaller parts of that list; be good
to the team people; look at the pieces of what you are doing – now. And let the bigger list guide but not bully you. What have you learned?
That you can refocus and improve your achieve- ment, the safety of your team, and the mood of the worksite. Hey, and share those cookies. Hap- py Home Team! Dr. Debi
Dr. Debi Warner is the Founder of Renovation Psychology®
and
author of Putting the Home Team to Work, available now online. Dr. Debi provides advice for greater domestic harmony to folks who are renovating their home – for True Home Improvement. This column is offered for enjoyment and enhancement and is not intended to replace your personal medical care. Photo by Bob Jenks, St. Johnsbury, Vt. Dr. Debi has a con- sultation practice, visiting home sites all over New England from her studio in Littleton, NH at the Tannery Marketplace. © 2009 Renovation Psychology® Questions are welcome.
Visit
www.RenovationPsychology.com
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