THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, September 16, 2010 Formerly & Everywhere! RFD# to the gulf stream waters Say WHAT?
veetooomins for you?” (This is me, losing it).
by Lorrie Baird I received a business
call this week because I am changing insurance companies and was asked to hold while my call was being “transferred:” “Hello, I am Vichiswi- wanna (or something like that) and I will be asking questions for underwrit- ers.” Oh boy…here we go. I’d
like to have a few minutes alone in a locked room with the person who thought outsourcing American jobs to foreign countries was a good idea. We muddled through the fundamentals of estab- lishing that I am indeed the person whom she was about to torture. “Your last veessit to
DOKtorrr was?” (except she ran all the consonants together as if they were one word.) “Two weeks ago. And
please slow down. I am having more trouble un- derstanding your accent than I am your English.” “Hokay.” “Do you take any meeed- ications?”
“Only vitamins.” “Hokay.” “When was last veesit to DOKtorrrr?” “I just told you. Two weeks ago.” “Hokay. At that time did
DOKtorrrr prescribe any meeedicine for you other than Veetodan?” “WHAT is ‘Veetodan” I
never said anything about taking ‘Veetodan!” “Yes, you did.” “No, I did not.” “You say, “ I do not take
any medicine except Vee- todan.”
“VITAMINS! I said I take only VITAMINS!” “Hokay…(slowly, very slowly) Veetooomins.” “When was last visit to DOKtorrrrr to prescribe
And please slow down. I am having more trouble understanding your accent than I am your English.”
DON’T NEED A PRE- SCRIPTION FOR ‘VEE- TOOOMINS, I MEAN VI- TAMINS!” “Hokay. We are almost done.” “Thank you Jesus,” I
mut tered under my breath.
“What you say?” “I was talking to a friend of mine. Sorry.” “Hokay. We will pro- ceed.”
“When was last veesit to DOKtorrr?” “DO YOU WANT THE
EXACT DATE? IS THAT IT? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TWO WEEKS AGO AND EVERYTHING IS NORMAL?”
thumb, is that what you mean?”
“Yes. That ees eeet!” “Why didn’t you say so
in the first place? I had the operation. I was in and out in one morning. The thumb is fine. End of story.” “So when did you last go
to DOKtorrr for pheesical exam?” “I am hanging up now.
If the underwriter from AMERICA wishes to call me I will speak directly to that person and no- body else, thank you very much.” The next morning I was
on the phone to my insur- ance agent who lives in Florida and has an excel- lent command of the Eng-
Watson’s
General Store Mobil GAS
539-6120
NEW OFF ROAD DIESEL K1-Kerosene
Propane Fill Station & Exchange
Fishing & Hunting Licenses OHRV Registrations
www.Watsongeneralstore.com Email:
WatsonNH@msn.com
Rt. 16 & 25 • West Ossipee
“I JUST TOLD YOU TWO WEEKS AGO. MAYBE IT WAS THREE. AND YOU
“Eet say here that you
went to DOKtorrr two years ago for tendonitis!” “Two years ago I had surgery to fix a trigger
lish language. I informed her that I don’t care if I have to pay a higher pre- mium, when I do business with an American compa- ny I expect to deal directly with Americans! Just think about what
a dent it would make in our nine-percent plus un- employment rate if we brought all the outsourced American jobs back home where they belong. Just don’t tell Vichiswi- wanna.
3 to the New York Island by Lorrie Baird
jim-lorrie@earthlink.net
29
H e r From California... , T here...
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From the redwood forest...
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