58 Ubud Area
19 May - 02 June, 2010
DELTA DEWATA
UBUD
SUPER MARKET
Bali Advertiser
08.00 am - 10.00 pm Open :
The Most Complete Supermarket in Ubud
Jl. Raya Andong #14.
Tel.973049, Fax. 978071 Ubud
C/U/G-17 Dec. 08
Live Music 9pm
EVERY
TUESDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY
(previously Exiles Bar)
HP 081 339 857 377 FACEBOOK
grottoubud@hotmail.com
C/U/G-16 Dec. 09 C/U/G-19 May 10
Say What?
Question: I work in an assembly production, pulling orders. This one girl I work with is fast and competitive, and it’s as if she wants to show the boss how fast she is. I can keep up with her for the most part, but sometimes I get a little behind. She starts off the line, and we pulled orders. I check the orders and fi nish the work. If I don’t keep up with the pace she sets, she starts throwing boxes and having fi ts because she says she is in a hurry to get things done. Lately, she has been trying to be really fast and to show off for the boss. She is in charge of setting up the line and is supposed to make enough boxes for the orders. But she sends only one box per order down the line and, when the orders require more than one box, I have to chase down boxes or else make them myself.
This is not how the job is supposed to be done. Say, for example, I have an 80-piece order. She should have at least 4 boxes set up on the line for me, but she is putting up only one box per order. That’s when I have to hunt down boxes that are up in front with her, and this slows me down. Her job is to make enough boxes -- or at least close to enough boxes. But, when the boss comes around, she points at me and talks about how fast she is, and how slow I am. She does all these little things to slow me down. She started pulling these tricks when she realized that I have no problem otherwise keeping up with her.
She takes energy drinks and pops pills that make her even more wired and driven. I do not mind a fast worker but, when she pulls these tricks of hers, I do not appreciate it at all. It just makes me angry and makes me work much harder than I would otherwise have to. She goes around telling people she is the best and the fastest. She even told one other guy we work with that she works so fast that, if he came and worked with her, she would make him cry. That’s how fast she claims to be. How can I deal with her without telling on her?
Dr. ZZ: I wish there were a quick and easy fi x to your dilemma. The fact is that people can -- and often will at some point – behave inappropriately and make life diffi cult. The only remedy is to become adept at handling such situations in a manner that leaves your integrity intact. If this girl is violating a standard of operation, I would ask her directly for her cooperation. Then, if she fails to attempt to change, I would report her to her supervisor. If, on the other hand, the need for her to change is just a preference on your end, then you will probably have to grin and make the
most of it. Look for a win in the long run or for the wisdom to see things differently.
Question: My Western daughter got married two months ago to an Indonesian man whom she had dated for a couple of years. Her now husband has a female friend at work, who is 5 years older than he. The friend is not very attractive. She is married and has children. My daughter’s husband lunches with this friend daily, and last week he stayed out with her until 12:30 am after an offi ce Happy Hour. His cell phone bill shows numerable text messages and late night phone calls. My daughter is crushed. She can’t stop crying and her heart as well as her trust is broken. He says they are just friends, and that he is tired of talking about it. My daughter is beautiful (not just Mom talking here, everyone says so). She is smart, very sweet, and has her own business. She calls me long-distance so upset that she is shaking. I don’t know what to do. I want to say come home and let her husband know that she is serious; that she is not willing to share him. What if that is bad advice? I need help.
Dr. ZZ: There’s a lot going on here, and though you obviously want to protect your daughter, I’m not sure that taking her under your wing is the best thing to do for either of you at this time. Clearly your daughter must have known that a cross-cultural marriage would have its share of challenges. Apparently the often-automatic switch in the behavior of Indonesian men after marriage from doting lover to philandering husband was not one she anticipated.
If your daughter is all that you say, she must be bright, independent and extremely self-reliant. It is good that you are available to give her a shoulder to cry on over the phone, and good that you let her know she is welcome to come home if she needs to. Other than that, I’d caution you to tread lightly. She is going to have to sort through the various bits and pieces of the life she fi nds herself in and make her own decisions. If you come to her aid too forcefully and say negative things about her husband, she may end up resenting you if she and he ever manage to work things out and reconcile. The optimal position to take is to let her do most of the talking and come to her own conclusions. Your role is best limited to that of confi dante and cheerleader. Love loosely.
Copyright © 2010 Say What?
You can read all past articles of Say What at
www.BaliAdvertiser.biz
Dr. ZZ has a Ph.D. in Counseling and a doctorate in Natural Healing. Drawing on a background of over thirty years as a professional therapist, she offers self-help in the areas health, relationship and personal growth. All queries are answered by email and, if they appear in print, are subject to editing. Please email your questions to: <
ba.saywhat@
yahoo.co.id> All identifying information is kept strictly confi dential.
C/U/G-5 May 10 C/U/G-21 April 10
At our shop in Ubud, our friendly staff will guide you to all things of a Spiritual/ New Age nature, including:
Books, Music CDs, DVDs, Crystals, Incense, Jewelry, Inspirational Cards, Candles, Yoga Mats, Meditation Cushions, Engraved Stones, Tibetan Bowls, Clothing and more…
Jalan Hanoman #64 – Ubud, Bali. Tel: 0361 796 9178
C/U/G-4 Nov. 09
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84