Ten Ways …
to be more tolerant By Robert Ashton
Let’s be honest, the last few months have been challenging and at times our tolerance, not to say our sanity, has been stretched to the limit. We’ve all spent more time than usual at home with our families and business meetings have been taking place online. This year, vaccination will make a difference, but we are unlikely to ever feel as free as we did this time last year. Travelling by Zoom is simply not the same as cruising down the M6 in a BMW. I’ve long been fascinated by tolerance and how otherwise very
nice people can become unpleasantly intolerant of people whose views differ from their own. For example I write a regular opinion piece for a local Christian website. Last month I wrote a piece suggesting that we could all learn something from the way Jehovah’s Witnesses have started writing letters to people, because the pandemic means they can no longer knock on doors. The site’s editor, a Roman Catholic, introduced my piece saying; ‘Robert Ashton wonders whether we can learn from other, not necessarily Christian, organisations.’ I took him to task for his use of ‘not necessarily Christian’, as I
always do when irritated by this public display of intolerance, but to be honest, wrote the piece knowing it would challenge him. While religious intolerance has for centuries led to oppression, wars, acts of terror and even genocide, today I’m more interested in how I can encourage you to be just a little more tolerant of those you deal with in your day to day work. Here then, are my top ten ways to become more tolerant:
1. Read widely – However much we try to suggest otherwise, most of us grew up among people like ourselves. It’s only natural and the way of the world, but can make us surprisingly intolerant of those whose world view differs from our own. Reading widely, fiction as well as non-fiction, can stretch our horizons and help us understand others.
2. Be aware of unconscious bias – This has become something of a buzz word in HR circles, but the fact is that we learn bias at an early age and so may not be aware. Realising, and understanding why you feel that way takes you closer to becoming more tolerant.
3. Remember your age – Public attitudes change over time and while it not helpful to judge figures from history by today’s standards (I’m thinking of those who made their money from slavery), those you work with who are much younger, or older than you may well have different values to your own. Accept diversity of opinion.
4. Don’t slam the window – Years ago, when working in an open plan office, I liked having the window open, but others did not and
PAGE 16 JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2021 FEED COMPOUNDER
would always ask me to close it. Annoyed, one day I slammed it shut so firmly that the glass fell out. This showed my intolerance. I hope that you are more tolerant of people who shun fresh air.
5. Discuss differences – It’s all too easy to assume that others know when their behaviour irritates you. Asking them why they behave as they do both lets them know how you feel, and gives them an opportunity to explain the reason why. Often, when you know why, you can tolerate more easily.
6. Adapt and survive – Working in a room of my own would have allowed me to have my window open whenever I wanted. But some things we cannot change, so have to compensate. Short dark winter days do little for my mood, so I have a special lamp on my desk that helps me tolerate those gloomy weeks.
7. Look ahead – Is what you are finding annoying right now likely to still be annoying you tomorrow, or next week, or even next year? It’s easier to tolerate things that irritate you if you remember that they will not be like that for ever.
8. Avoid confrontation – When I was growing up we lived in a small bungalow in a quiet Suffolk market town. Our next door neighbour got a new job driving a furniture delivery lorry. He started parking it on the verge outside his home where it also blocked the afternoon sun from our home. My father knew someone at the local council and one day a row of bollards appeared along the road outside. Our neighbour had to park elsewhere and never knew that my father had been the cause. While a little underhand, it did at least avoid confrontation.
9. Breathe deeply – Sometimes you just have to accept something that you find deeply annoying. It could be that someone is clearly wrong, but has support and your only choice is to accept and wait for future change. This is when you need to keep your cool and learn to relax. Getting worked up is bad for your health, so just breathe deeply and let it pass.
10. Lose with grace – I cannot write about tolerance without mentioning the pointless display of intolerance shown recently by the loser of the US presidential election. Learning to tolerate losing is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, but however angry you are, accepting defeat with some grace gives you more chance of trying again another day. Nobody likes bad losers.
I realise that in writing this month’s column I have touched on
two subjects that are normally considered taboo: religion and politics. Nudging the boundaries of what is expected is my way of illustrating my point that we all need to become more tolerant. As a writer I see it as my job to challenge commonly held assumptions because only then will attitudes change. 2021 will develop to become a year of opportunity in which so
many things that became impossible last year, gradually come within our grasp. Some things will never change, because new behaviours have been learned and new habits formed. This year, more perhaps than any other, we will need to become more tolerant.
Comment section is sponsored by Compound Feed Engineering Ltd
www.cfegroup.com
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72
