Business Monitor Get the jab!
Paul Clapham, marketing expert, writes how you can turn the COVID-19 vaccine into profit with some catchy slogans.
I
write as someone who has had a vaccination jab. I cannot tell you how good that made me feel – totally painless and the operation overall impressively slick. If I were the singing kind, I would have sung. What I did feel was, ‘hooray, I’m going to beat this nasty little s***’. You don’t have to have COVID to hate it and I don’t suppose I’m the only one to treat the virus like a human enemy. That’s anthropomorphism and normally I despise it, but this time it fits.
You will have been delighted to see that cases of COVID are dropping like a stone and that elements of lockdown will be lifted early. That surely means that normal social life will be back soon. Let’s get normal business life back too. Boy do we deserve it! All of it! Let’s consider what we can bring back first.
Smile every day
Right now we need a good reason to smile every day, we need a bloody good laugh, something to cheer about. We also need to be generous spirited, something which I think we Brits are naturally. So, let’s line up some funnies. Previously I said we should avoid humour because COVID was deeply unfunny for some poor souls. Now I think that, with sensitivity, jokes are what we need. It occurs to me that the sudden steep fall in COVID cases was always going to follow a well-organised and fulfilled vaccination programme. All the over 70s and those at high risk due to pre-existing conditions have been vaccinated (the anti-vaxxers are all young, or so I read).
| 22 | April 2021
On that point perhaps a bit of serious sniping is indicated and since the anti-vaxxers get what passes for facts with them from the web (see Donald Trump for an aged example) what better than communication by printwear. I suggest: ‘If you don’t get the jab, don’t come running to me when you’re dying. Oh, you won’t be able to run anymore will you?’ Harsh, but true.
Option 2: Get the jab. Even someone as dim as an anti-vaxxer must be able to read that. (Print as large as possible). Option 3: All anti-vaxxers are going to have their passports taken away and they’ll be banned from pubs for life. (Small: it might work – they believe all the other nonsense about vaccines).
More jokey: if you meet an anti-vaxxer, tell him you’re really grateful that he’s keeping the queue nice and short for the rest of us.
Get the jab
I don’t understand why there are tens of thousands of people who wilfully ignore the clear fact that they are quite likely to die if they don’t change what passes for their minds and get the jab. Increasingly I think ‘don’t care, kill yourself if you want’. Obviously, I’m not proud of that, but I sort of justify it by saying that we don’t want them poisoning the human gene pool. OK, I promised to stay upbeat and analysing the thought patterns of people whose favourite recreation is barking at the moon is hardly light-hearted. I think a bit of good healthy boasting is, however, entirely appropriate. Try ‘I’ve had two jabs’. This works well as
‘They call me Johnny Two-jabs’. ‘I’ve just booked a holiday in (fill in the gap) where everybody’s got COVID but I’ve had two jabs so I don’t care’.
Care about the young What we should all care about are the young people. If you are one, boy, do you have my sympathies. As far as I can tell the 18-25 age group have had their university campuses closed, they’ve been told to worry about giving the disease to their grandparents, they haven’t got a job (but they have got a thundering big university debt), they aren’t allowed to kiss their girlfriend/ boyfriend unless they live in the same house which is as rare as rocking horse manure, they are last in the age-related queue for a vaccination, they can’t go to Glastonbury because it’s shut. Just when they should be chasing the opposite sex, drinking too much, going to raves and booking holidays in sunny places, their lives are on hold. There’s not a lot anyone can do except plan to give them jobs when possible and buy them a beer when the pubs reopen. Supposedly we are all in this together but I rather doubt the young see it that way. I am impressed by the stoicism they are showing and am very glad I am no longer young.
We need a holiday! Somewhere warm and sunny where the booze is cheap and the food interesting. Decently priced hotels would be nice, too, ditto lots of pretty women strutting their stuff on the beach. I know where that is but I’m telling no one. Find your own slice of heaven.
www.printwearandpromotion.co.uk
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78
