FAMILY
“Some of my friends have had their reservations about family contact but I always tell them they don’t need to be scared”
couldn’t control his emotions, often stomping off to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.
“He thought I would do what he perceived others had before and turn away from him so he attempted to push me away. However, instead of shouting or penalising him, we talked things through so that he could understand his feelings and emotions.”
By listening to the child and being attentive while also working on a reward and incentive basis, Nick’s therapeutic parenting style means both him and his foster child have mutual respect for one another and are working together rather than battling against each other.
“It’s funny sometimes as he repeats my words back to me so I know he’s taking them on board. It’s only been a short time we’ve been together but he’s learnt to talk through his emotions rather than running off and shutting himself away. The changes and achievements he’s had already are so rewarding.”
During a difficult and challenging time for the child, Nick has strived to keep contact with his birth family and siblings, along with keeping him at the same primary school before he makes the transition to secondary.
“I know that my job as his carer is to support him rather than disrupt his life. I have good communication with his mum and we get on really well.
“Some of my friends have had their reservations about family contact but I always tell them they don’t need to be scared – they’re just the same as us. They’re not nasty people; they just might have struggled to cope which may have had an impact on their ability to manage everyday situations.”
A caring, kind, empathetic and selfless young man, Nick has
always put others first and has made a few lifestyle changes to become a foster carer. While caring long-term for the boy, Nick also plans to support other looked-after children in the future.
“It’s not just about me anymore. But I also know how important it is to still look after myself to stay mentally strong and be able to deal with any issues I may face.
have been brought closer together through fostering and he can now partake in family activities rather than feeling like the single friend tagging along.
From biking and swimming, to having a kick about or getting some fresh air outdoors; Nick is now able to share experiences and memories with his foster child and encourages others who think they may face obstacles or barriers in fostering to give it a go.
“The support network in Rotherham is just fantastic and I wish I’d have done it earlier.”
“I’ve had great encouragement from professionals, family and friends and have been able to engage with a wide range of people in my local area, most of whom I didn’t know also foster. The support network in Rotherham is just fantastic and I wish I’d have done it earlier.”
Along with building a bond with his foster child, Nick’s own family
“As a gay person, I never thought I would experience parenting, but my sexuality doesn’t define who I am. More same sex people should look to foster as they have a lot to give.
“I also have a very unique appearance being mixed heritage. But I’ve found this to be more beneficial to my fostering role as there are so many black and ethnic minority children who I can help.
“If, like me, you’ve considered fostering but aren’t sure whether you can do it because of your own circumstances, don’t leave it. Get the answers you require and if it’s right for you, take a chance.”
Start your adoption journey today
with Rotherham Adoption Agency If you are considering starting or extending your family through adoption, find out more at our
Free information drop-in sessions At Rotherham Town Hall
Thursday 17th May Thursday 21st June Thursday 19th July
From 5pm-7pm See our information stand at Rotherham Hospital.
Wednesday 9th May Wednesday 13th June Wednesday 18th July
From 9.30am to 2pm in the Foyer Rotherham Adoption Agency
Tel: 01709 254005
www.adoptioninrotherham.org.uk
@rmbcadoption Rotherham Adoption Agency
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