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What to Do if You’ve Outgrown a


By Colette Baron Reid


What do you do when you seem to have outgrown some of the people in your life?


Yesterday I was catching up with a friend and we got to talking about how confusing it can be when you no longer resonate with some of the people around you. This friend—let’s call her Kathy—had evolved quite a bit in the past few years. While she was happy with all the changes she’d made in her life, she’d started to realize that she’d outgrown some of her friends and loved ones. As she became more positive and mindful, the gap wid- ened, and it was now at the point where she no longer enjoyed her time with them. It was also pretty clear they weren’t thrilled about the “new” her. In fact, her mother was now constantly referring to the


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old days—back when she wasn’t as secure with herself, and a friend had started teasing her about her grow- ing interest in spirituality.


I could totally relate to her frustra- tion. At different points in my life, I’ve had very similar experiences. For example, when I became sober and left all the partying and drink- ing behind, I had to say goodbye to a lot of old friends because we no longer shared the same ideals. As I talk about in Remembering the Future, it was at times painful and lonely to move forward, but it also lead me to my true calling and to more nurturing relationships with new people.


One of the surprisingly common aspects of personal growth is the realization that our relationships


Dec/Jan 2011-2012 “When we don’t fe


relationship, it becomes more time we spend in the more we lose touch we disconnect from our the light dims on o


may not grow in the same direction. Each of us is on a unique path in life, full of changing experiences, perceptions, interests, and needs. While we often bond with others out of shared interests and desires, what brought us together some-


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