FLOWWITH SUSAN
IN THE TAYLOR
What I know now is that there’s always an answer. There’s always a way to resolve a situation. The resolution may not be the things that we want, but it’s the right resolution for our lives and for that moment.
Only because I paused, and thought criti- cally about what I might do did the idea emerge. That phone call changed my life.
H&S: While you were editor-in-chief at Essence, I think many of us were in awe of and moved by your willingness to be so radically transparent with the per- sonal stories you offered to us in your In the Spirit column. Given the times, what influenced you to make such a revolu- tionary choice?
Ms. Taylor: The reality of it is I hadn’t yet gone to college. While I would just love to say I had the complete confidence to do the work, I didn’t. It’s so very important to have cheerleaders in your life. Get rid of the judges and naysay- ers. I had a man in my life who was a lawyer, had an MBA and said to me, “you have exactly the background they need.” Because he believed in me, it made me believe in me and I stepped into the posi- tion of editor-in-chief.
Doing so after Marsha Gillespie - this brilliant writer, phenomenal mind, and my boss for years - I asked myself, “What am I going to write?” I decided I’d write about spirituality because that’s what I cared about and was longing to know about. That’s why I began writing In the Spirit - to chronicle my own experiences.
Then I had a breakthrough when I found the courage to really write about early childhood sexual experiences that I was very ashamed of as a kid. I was able to name that shame finally because of the women I started working with who had drug addictions, etc. They would look at me all sly like, “What are you going to tell me?” I’d say, “I come from the same circumstances. Here’s my story.” That is
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what gave me courage. I think we really have to give people an opportunity to reveal themselves. There’s nothing to fear.
It’s easier to say than it is to live. I
had fear, but I still moved forward. H&S: Inspired by the “trail you blazed”
decades ago, so many women now pur- sue careers in self-empowerment. What would you advise a woman to do in order to find her authentic voice, rather than trying to be the next Susan, Iyanla, or Oprah?
Ms. Taylor: What you just said is the most important work of our lives, to find our authentic voice. That really takes an understanding that each of is a divine original, unique, sent here on purpose, with a purpose.
The only person we can really be well is ourselves. That’s the challenge - to believe that we are enough as we are.
Being a writer or an inspirational speaker or starting your own business, no matter what it is, really takes building the architecture. If you have a strong desire to influence women’s lives and help people, and it’s your calling - which it has to be - and you do the work to pre- pare yourself, then I’d say step out there because it’s what the world so needs.
H&S: Do you believe your purpose or calling has changed over the years?
Ms. Taylor: That’s such an interesting question because I was just thinking about this the other day. Even when I was the beauty editor at Essence all the way to the editorial director, and even now as the leader of the National CARES Mentoring Movement, my goals have been the same - to help us understand our value, that we really are powerful, beautiful, and capable of being healthy, strong and resilient in the world.
H&S: How do we really love ourselves?
Ms. Taylor: That is our every day work. We have to learn how to give ourselves to ourselves, before we give ourselves away to anybody else.
We love ourselves by nourishing ourselves with the right self-talk. I am
HEARTANDSOUL.COM 012016
valuable. I am whole. I am loved. I am God’s child.
My generation is the first generation to have any conversation around self-love and self-care. It is not selfish. As Audre Lorde said, “it is self-preservation, an act of political warfare.”
When we don’t get what we need, we don’t love one another well. We don’t love our children well. We don’t lead well. We don’t live our lives well. You’re not going to treat anybody better than you treat yourself. We have to shut down the negative voices that tell us that we are not enough, or haven’t done enough five years ago, five minutes ago.
We have to ensure that we are giving ourselves the affirmations that we need to love ourselves better. These are things we have to do every day. Every single day.
To read the interview in its entirety, visit
www.neychaonline.com.
Scan the QR code with your smart phone to Make a donation to National CARES Mentoring Movement,
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