In the spirit of CROSSHIRE Our new column continues with Paddy’s Motorbike giving his views on our industry. A CERTAIN KIND OF CUSTOMER
Many hiremen of long standing must think they have come across every unusual and unlikely occurrence that our industry can throw at them. However, there is always a chink in our armour waiting to be exposed, or a curveball to knock us back, in the shape of a certain kind of cash customer.
Most cash clients are friendly DIY enthusiasts and small builders, who are grateful for your knowledge and expertise. However, every now and again, you encounter more challenging individuals who, once spotted nearing the shop, make your hire desk staff suddenly seem to vanish into thin air or decide that right now is a great time to make a cuppa in the back, out of the way, leaving you to deal with the individual.
This is the sort who says, after you ask for a deposit, “I could buy one for that,” or, after your polite request for ID, you get a hurt look plus the comment, “But I’m not going to steal it,” which is all very well for them to say, but just how are we to know? My personal favourite is when you get a long description of the job they are undertaking, along with when and where they are doing the work, only for them to say, “OK, I will let him know,” as soon as you have quoted
them a price, and then walk away. I would love to know who exactly the “him” they are referring to, is.
It often seems we are good enough to be asked for advice, but not good enough for them to listen to it. It comes down to the fact that, in most cases, what the enquirer wants is quite different from what they actually need. What they are really saying they want is the cheapest tool you carry for a job that is just beyond its capability. In my experience, a 4kg SDS-Plus breaker is never quite up to breaking a 6in thick concrete driveway, however hard the user may try.
My award for the best – or, perhaps, worst – enquiry from a DIY cash customer in the past year or so goes to the lady who said she wanted a pressure washer, but then declined the hire because she thought all the water would be in the machine already. She was genuinely quite surprised when I showed her where you could connect a hose pipe to fill it. Mind you, a close second place would be another woman who informed us that she did not need to buy any varnish to apply after using our floor sander because she was going to use tea bags to make a wood stain. She must be the only person who has a 2-litre teacup.
THE COST OF CREDIT
Since the major credit card companies decided they wanted bigger profits from transactions, the knock-on effect is that banks and other card processing organisations have wasted no time in increasing the percentage they take from us.
This, to me, shows the mentality of a modern day Dick Turpin, and for those who do not act quickly enough, you can be placed on some ridiculous tariff and unable to change for at least a month. The most notable switch is the replacement of a pence-per-transaction charge on debit cards with a percentage, which is taking an even larger slice of your profit.
However, this is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of expense for us, as we inevitably have to buy the till rolls from them at an over-inflated price, and then there is the hire of the card terminal. If you think you have finished there, then think again, because you are then hit by secure metrics or an equivalent of a card transaction security.
It really is money for old rope, as you have two options. One is to pay a fee and an hour or two filling in forms on-line, or your other choice is to face increased transaction charges. You might think about ringing the helpline, where a chap with an undecipherable accent on a bad phone line tries to tell you he's called Brian from Birmingham and will assist you. At this point you have to ask yourself whether credit card transactions are worth the hassle, and whether even the most trying cash customer might not be such an ordeal to endure.
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Paddy’s
Motorbike
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