ARTICLE Continued from page 3


It takes time, and for some people after loss it takes years to work our way through grief, and we will feel anger, despair and hopelessness but if we let ourselves grieve, rather than trying to contain our grief and putting on a brave front all the time, we find ourselves healing, remembering the one we lost brings a smile to our lips, rather than a tear to our eye, the pain softens and we learn to live without the physical presence of our loved one. However, their memory stays alive within our hearts and minds and if you believe in spirit as I do, their spirit, their energy is still there, somewhere, never destroyed, but bright and alive. We cannot lose what has gone before, it happened, the memory remains. All the happy times and the sad times we spent with our loved one are still there, part of us and them, part of what makes us who we are, right now! Everything, that has happened in our lives serves to make us who we are. Do you grab life by the blade or the handle? Do you turn the hardships into something positive or do you become a victim? Do you blame the world and others for your misfortune or do you accept life in all it’s horror and glory, and decide that the only way to LIVE is to grab it with both hands and ride it like the wind. Giving and receiving as much happiness and love as you can despite your hardships and losses. Handing out kindness, compassion, care, love and smiles where ever and to whomever you can. We may never understand why we have to experience the sorrows and the loss, we may never have the answers to why someone had to suffer so and die the way they did, but what is true, is that we would never truly appreciate the good times and the happiness if we did not experi- ence those times of pain and sadness too. I have as a healer often said “everything happens for a reason”, but when you lose someone you loved with all your heart, when you can’t change what has happened and you are hurting beyond belief, this saying is trite and un- helpful. Sometimes there isn’t a reason. It’s just life, it’s life and it’s death and death is part of life, illness is part of life, loss and sadness are part of life. However, as a healer, I know that I can choose to meet these losses and hardships with fortitude, and with compassion for myself and others. I can allow whatever emotions need to be expressed be expressed. I can allow myself to cry, to shout out my pain and anger, instead of holding it in and I can allow myself to do things in memory of that person, to celebrate them. I can give and receive LOVE and I can allow myself to heal and to grow, to learn what I can from each event. Even if the only thing we learn is to show appreciation for the HERE and the NOW and for those that we love and to make the most of every single day, then we have learnt a truly valuable lesson from Life because LIFE IS A GIFT!


N.B :If you find yourself constantly feeling angry, numb or apathetic or depressed, if you feel stuck in any emotion you may need some help to come to terms with your loss, I highly recommend bereavement counselling and/or healing. Finding someone you can talk to without fear of judgement is important and it often helps if that someone is not emotionally involved. Do please seek help if you feel you need it, don’t be alone with your grief.


April K Boardman is a REIKI Teacher and Healer and Body Worker at THE WELL BEING, Durston, Somerset for more information see her website www.thewellbeing.co.uk


London & South East Connection - April/July 2017 33


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