Life, Fun & Humor


Food, Such an Ordeal by Gabriel A. Fraire • gafraire@comcast.net


I


s eating a problem in your house? I don’t mean that any of us have trouble open- ing our mouths and stuffing food in it. It’s more a case of what to stuff, how to stuff and whose gonna get stuffed. My wife is a


terrific cook. And I am an adequate meal provider. But having the ability to cook and having the time and energy to do so are two entirely different things. When I’m at home with


the kids, it seems like all we do for about the first three hours of the day is prepare meals and clean up after them.


Deciding what to eat is


another problem. Whenever we sit down and try to develop a grocery shopping list you’d think we were trying to solve the riddle of time. As a family we tend to get into ruts. Our meals repeat more often than songs on pop radio stations.


And neatness, decorum, forget it.


Now, food in my face is a regular routine and every meal is a performance. I eat a lot in my car. And there are many times when I actually wear my food.


Parent Training Lesson Number 8962


It’s no big deal talking to the repairman with food in your hair.


SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ In our modern vocabulary, ‘Bringing something to the table’ often implies a skill or attribute that a person has, which will enhance the situation they are involved in. It’s becom- ing a com- mon


phrase


and it does have merit. However,


if you had asked


my Grandmother


what someone brought to the table, she would have described the person’s sig- nature food dish they were required to bring to certain occasions.


In the case of her daugh-


ter-in-law, my mother, it was pumpkin pie baked entirely from scratch and homemade cranberry sauce for every Thanksgiving.


I remember


watching my mom hand sort fresh cranberries, put them in a pot with her special spices and then simmer/stir for what


UPBEAT TIMES • November 2013 • 21 The Family Life By Guest Writer Cindy Cowan • seacyd@comcast.net


seemed like an eternity. There is a specific oblong crystal serving dish that she always poured it into. The color of the cranberries sparkling through the glass was magical. A kid could lose a finger though,


if


they dared touch its pristine sur- face. It was and still the


is piece


center- for


our table every year, right next to the turkey.


My mom is 83 years young,


and over the years most of the bigger cooking has been passed down to me. I can see why she loved it so much. It is quite satisfying to prepare a wonderful meal for people you love. Each year as I stand in my kitchen, I think of watch- ing her do all the chopping, stirring etc. and I feel blessed. I’m proud to be creating these types of memories for my own


... continued on page 26 Weird Facts & Trivia -6


"Plop, plop; fizz, fizz; oh, what a relief it is!"—Thus used to be the slogan of the Alka Seltzer brand of antacid. More recently, the company has embraced "Get yourself an Alka Seltzer, and you'll feel better fast."


In 2000, a study was carried out that determined that more United States college students remembered advertising slogans than the importance of the date July 4, 1776. While 90%


remembered slogans such as "yo quiero Taco Bell" and "Just Do It," 40% did not know that July 4, 1776 was the date the United States declared independence.


Long before Burger King advertised their "char-broiled" burgers, Hardee's invited burger lovers to ""Hurry on down to Hardee's where the burgers are charcoal broiled."


The famous "Got Milk" campaign has supposedly cancelled planned ads with certain celebrities. Why? They didn't like milk, of course!


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If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. ~Bob Hope UPBEAT TIMES • November 2013 • 21


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