ARTICLE About Faith by Jennie Williams
Recently we decided that we would like to adopt a child to become our son or daughter and a sibling for our 4 _ year old son. It has been a bit of an uphill struggle right from the beginning as we have had to wait whilst the agency we are working to recruit more assessors. We’re already into our 7th week of waiting for the phone- call simply to arrange our initial assessment. At this point I could start to question whether adoption is right for us or this agency is right for us but I know I have to trust the situation. I only really know this because God is saying “Jennie, stick with it!” It is at these sorts of challenging points in our lives that I think trust may not be enough – we need faith.
Faith seems to be a bit of a lost art because it means letting go. We rather prefer to work things out ourselves, perhaps with our higher selves and that way we can learn to be more self sufficient. We will trust but only in an allowing sort of way – simply trusting the universe to unfold as it wants to. Then there is another school of thought that suggests that we can use our thoughts to create our reality. It is believed that if we think positively,
happen to us and vice versa.
Using the situation with the adoption as an example I would like to examine these different schools of thought.
Firstly I
wonder what trusting the universe to unfold actually means. Does this mean we have no sense of and no concern for the outcome? Surely this would leave me wondering constantly whether adoption is right for us or not and in a state of confusion. This situation would deny me my feelings and most of all deny me hope. On the other hand, does this way of living
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take my feelings into consideration? I am part of the universe so does ‘the universe unfolding’ mean that I am part of that unfolding? In this case I would be trusting my own desires to adopt and trusting the universe to work with me to help these desires to be fulfilled. This feels better but how do I know I am right to trust my own ideas? In my experience I have many dreams but I learn in time that only some are destined to be fulfilled.
myself and the universe in this way therefore leaves me feeling a bit shaky, insecure and lacking the clarity I need to fulfil my true purpose.
positive things will
Then there is the way of living whereby I use my thoughts to create my own reality. What does this mean? Does it mean I say a daily mantra “I am worthy to adopt a child”? Does it mean that I block all negative thoughts about my choice to adopt e.g. “I don’t expect I’ll make the grade.” or “It’s a ridiculously long process – I’m not sure I’ll have the stamina.” This sounds suspiciously like I think I’m in control! Can I really make these things happen just because I want them to happen or cause something not to happen by the power of my mind? This is an interesting idea but it leaves me feeling a bit cold, a bit bereft of feeling and very bereft of relationship.
So, where do I go from here? I listen to what God is saying. Many times since deciding to adopt I have felt inexplicably drawn to look at the website where you can read profiles about children needing adoption. Part of me didn’t want to look because I didn’t want to raise my hopes
London & South East Connection - August/November 2012
Trusting
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