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light. Sex becomes love. Conflict becomes harmony, separation becomes oneness.


This union can, and often does, occur within an individual. Conscious lovemaking facilitates that ultimate healing. I will write more about the transformations and benefits that conscious lovemaking can bring in another post.


How does consciousness in your lovemaking grow you?


The energetic exchange that happens in lovemaking is a gateway to profound transformation. At this time, it is perhaps appropriate for spiritual values to be lived in ordinary life, to be celebrated in marriage or deep intimate meetings between lovers. The conscious union of body, heart, soul and spirit is no longer the domain of those who are cloistered and not in the world. And that union not only happens inside now but is also reflected outside between male and female.


Physical sexual intimacy can facilitate the inner alchemical healing -the inner marriage of male and female. Then relating happens without the projection and the need that causes so much mayhem. Paradoxically, bodily sensitivity to this energetic exchange increases to the degree that personal agenda and wanting is released. This doesn’t mean that sexual intimacy becomes less pleasurable-the reverse is true. But goal orientation and ‘trying to get’ -such as chasing ejaculation and orgasm, or looking for adulation for a perfect ‘performance’ -falls away.


Sexual intimacy then becomes a genuine meeting and potentially a dissolving of separateness. Then, the masculine essence of one partner, often but not always a man, through their physical body, can penetrate fully, even impregnate, the feminine nature of the other partner, often but not always a woman, with presence and consciousness, and the feminine through the physical body, endows the masculine deeply with love and light. As realised nature meets realised nature a dissolving and balancing or merging happens. No-thing in love.


Relationship changes profoundly when both partners live this inner marriage of light and consciousness.


The more male partner is no longer ‘using’ sex to get back to his longed for space and emptiness. He lives everything surrendered, free, as space and emptiness. He is no longer resistant to stuff he has to do or afraid to open into life and give.


Woman is freed of her apparently endless yearning and emotional longing when she opens her body and heart into the known as surrendered, unguarded love. The female does not need to be loved, she becomes love, free of agenda. Her every act is filled with consciousness, with God and with devotion to male consciousness.


Ultimate healing, inner marriage, means that life is lived way beyond the personal. Sexual intimacy fuels both partners to give their essence freely, serving life’s mysterious intelligence without the need for personal return from each other or from the world they move into.


Every relationship challenge or failure has the longing for this at its root. The work or process that can unfold prior to this inner marriage is easier when seen in the context of what is possible. Sexual competition, lust, infidelity, unwillingness to be vulnerable, lack of body confidence, shyness, unclear communication, lack of respect for another’s boundaries, lack of education about how best to physically love your man or your woman…and more…all these very human challenges become rich territory for the peeling away of the personality layers that make the meeting of love and consciousness in sexual exchange impossible. that is where a mature and supportive circle is true support on this journey whether you are single or in a couple.


If it matters to you to relate and make love in full realisation of your human potency ….Join us at the next series of ongoing circles - there are just a very few places left now on this life and relationship transforming 18 month training www.secretgarden.eu.com/joyfulloving.html Call


07866 470238 or email


joy1@secretgarden.eu.com for further details and to book your place.


See page 11 London & South East Connection - August/November 2012 27


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