ARTICLE


It’s comparatively simple to explain things away with words – not so simple when dealing with the unspoken, unwritten more intangible parts of our humanness. By that, I mean our feelings, dreams and emotions.


Some of you will have heard of Viktor Frankl’s book - Man’s Search for Meaning.


He was a religious man, as well as a psychologist - a Jew, incarcerated during the holocaust in various concentration camps. So, quite naturally he wrote about his god as a source of strength.


However, for me, it seemed that it was his very human qualities of care, compassion, internal courage, keen intelligence, fortitude and self- respect that kept him alive – when others around him died.


These qualities are within each of us as you know. Whether you have a faith or not makes no difference. Reading his book is a deep and very meaningful experience, to be highly recommended.


In my work as a non-religious funeral celebrant, I know very clearly, that I have to bring deep meaning to any ceremony. If I give a eulogy only full of facts, dates and what the deceased has achieved during his or her life, then it can be a very boring and dead one.


Therefore, I always use music and poetry, (nearly always chosen by the family) with a touch of humour here and there. There is a language behind the poet’s words or the composer’s score that touches the heart, that evokes memory, and with that – often emotion, and of course – meaning.


When I work with people in a meditation retreat, or some form of personal development – it’s not so much the practicalities and scholarship surrounding my training that counts – rather my ability to intuit what is going on internally with the people I’m working with.


Obviously this also applies in individual sessions. I believe it’s an essential part of any form of growth or internal work done with people, that means a lot to me, and hopefully to them.


Human contact, of course, can bring meaning into anyone’s life.


There is nothing so complex as the human heart and mind. To have had the privilege of working with people, often deeply distressed, for nearly forty years now, is a wondrous and deeply meaningful thing.


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Each of you has an, often unconscious, drive to find meaning in your own life. This may come from your family, or from nature, philanthropy, meditation, community work, or from travel, the arts and your friends; the list is endless.


However, all these things provoke feelings, of love, of curiosity, of a sense of achievement, sometimes simply of excitement –always a feeling of some sort – hopefully - even Joseph Campbell’s “rapture of being alive”?


Of course, it can be argued that meaning can sometimes come from the intellect in the form of discovery and new information leading to knowledge. My own stance is that it more often comes from experiences and feelings about something.


However, not all of you will agree – your sense of meaningfulness may genuinely be triggered by scholarship.


And, there is one question that


touches me deeply - "What is the meaning of my life?"


Scholars and students, professors and pundits plus people like you and me have been debating this question – “What is the meaning of MY life” – since the ability to question anything began to arise thousands of years ago.


You can write and argue about it ‘till kingdom come – but it has to boil down to FOUR simple words: MEANING IN MY LIFE. It can only be a very personal perspective. You might like to think about that right now?


I’m probably an adrenalin junky – but certainly risk has been a huge part of my life. It was, in a strange way – my path to meaning. Many people have also called me foolhardy – and they were correct.


I used to envy those who created a quieter, more internal way of life – who found their meaning through living in a more gentle way. Now, writing these words I realise that I finally, do live a gentler more internal life. A gift of ageing I suspect.


And, here’s a surprise – there’s also deep gratitude towards that younger woman who fought and jumped, broke with convention and took risks that no really sane person would have


even


contemplated. Those jumps and risks led her to some painful as well as wonderful discoveries – all meaningful.


I learned that to live fully in the world I didn’t London & South East Connection - August/November 2012


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