TV QUIZ… All the answers are sneakily hidden in the adverts. 1. Which comedy writer, involved in Dad’s Army, Allo Allo, It Aint Half Hot Mum, Hi Di Hi, & Are You Being Served, died recently ? 2. In which program would you find Edina Monsoon, Saffron and Patsy ? 3. Where would you find the all-inclusive Solana Resort ? 4. If he’s not digging up the land, he’s playing Private Baldrick ? 5. Which scouse family worked the system to earn a crust ? 6. What profession were...Cheese and Egg, Smellie Ibbotson, Heavy Breathing, Eric and Winston ? 7. Who did Mrs Doyle look after on Craggy Island ? 8. Which 70’s classic series featured Prunella Scales, Andrew Sachs and Connie Booth ? 9. Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, and Dawn French starred in which series about the W.I ? 10. Which Indian family lived at No 42 ?


HOMEWISE Homewise has been delivering professional, high quality, client centred services to Hyndburn residents for over 20 years. We give impartial advice and assistance on all aspects of home improvements, adaptations, repairs and maintenance with particular emphasis on older, disabled and or disadvantaged people. Due to generous donations of unwanted items, we have a large stock of “recycled” aids e.g. walking frames, toilet frames, trolleys, bath lifts, etc. which we can provide at a fraction of the retail price. All items are cleaned and checked for safety – call in and check us out at 2/4 Whalley Road, Accrington telephone 01254 232249 Opening times are 9.15 a.m. to 5.00 p.m. Monday to Friday and 10.00 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Saturday.


Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table at which he's fed. Tax his work, Tax his pay, he works for peanuts anyway! Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think. Tax his car, Tax his gas, find other ways to tax his ass. Tax all he has, then let him know, that you won't be done till he has no dough. When he screams and shouts, tax him some more, Tax him till he's good and sore. Tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in which he's laid. When he's gone, do not relax, it's time to apply inheritance tax.


It's all in the punctuation: An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."


1.


Brandy/


White Rum/ Triple Sec/


If your car looks like this you are too drunk to drive.


7.


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