Harold & Ethel.


Harold: I went to the doctors today and told him I thought I had fluid on the knee. Ethel: What did he say ? Harold: He said I wasn’t aiming straight.


A pregnant woman goes to the maternity hospital to make arrangements for the birth. “Will the father be present at the delivery ?” asked the midwife. “No,” replies the woman. “ He and my husband don’t really get along.”


Pythagorean Theorem: 24 words. The Lord's Prayer: 66 words. Archimedes' Principle: 67 words. Ten Commandments: 179 words. Gettysburg address: 286 words. US Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words. US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: 7,818 words. EU regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words. Enough Said.


Do Art Students have two much time on their hands ?


Can you spot the 10 faces ? A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A procrastinator’s work is never done.


God decided to cause a great drought as a follow up to his great flood. He called for Noah to give him some instructions. “Noah,” he says, “this drought is going to kill a lot of fish, so I want you to make an ark and fill it with fish tanks. There’ll be a lot of fish so you’ll need to make it at least eight storeys high. Oh, and I really like carp, so you can forget all the other types of fish, just save all the different types of carp. Can you do it Noah?” “Of course I can.” Replied Noah, “ All you want is a Multi-storey carp ark.” (Oh that’s rubbish.)


3.


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