This page contains a Flash digital edition of a book.
“Joy To The World.” By John Peterson. Cambridge Street Methodist Church ( Off Burnley Road ) Accrington. Sunday 4th December. 2.15 PM A Christmas Cantata sung by the Conchord Singers.


Admission Free. Collection Taken.


After his divorce Mr. Davies realized that poker only


isn’t the game that starts with


holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.


What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? - Half a worm.


2.


12. Gin/White Rum/Tequila/ Vodka/Triple Sec/Cola


Brian’s Private Hire


Clayton Le Moors ( Est 1975 ) Airport Transfers


Cars & Mini bus available


for all occasions 01254 396565 07957 237858


Tequila/Triple Sec/Lime Juice


An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."


When Will The Housing Market Start Moving Again? I think the answer is nobody knows. Certainly not in the short term as mortgages are so hard to get and first time buyers need a mas- sive deposit in most cases. My guess is that we won’t see signifi- cant changes for 5 years or more, so in the meantime if you need to move, here are some ideas- •Consider renting your house out and rent another more suitable. •Be realistic about the price- negotiate a similar reduction on the one you buy. •Make sure your house is immaculate both inside and out whether selling or renting. •Keep in touch with your mortgage lender if you’re facing financial difficulties, most have really helpful customer service departments. •Talk to ARLA and NAEA registered Letting and Estate Agents to help weigh up your options and get realistic valuation figures. •Ensure the agents you talk to have experience of the area and the market- some blow their own trumpet so hard you get swept away by it all. You need someone with a proven track record to help you with such an important decision. So unless you want to wait for the market to pick up in the future, consider one of these options which allow you to move on. For more information contact Pippa or Ashleigh on: 01254 872030 or Visit www.rent-the-house.co.uk


2.


The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself "She's going through the change."


The wife was getting out of the car last week and dropped a whole box of scrabble in the road. I said to her…….. “What’s the word on the street ?”


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36