My mum was vacuuming the
other day. She went over a piece of string about a dozen times, then picked it up, looked at it,
and put it down again to give the vacuum one last chance. Strange !
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"
The Red Planet is about to become spectacular. In August the Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupitor’s gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs it’s orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again. The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be ( next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of—2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75 power magnification Mars will look as large as the full Moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the East at 10pm and reach it’s azimuth at about 3am. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at night and reach it’s highest point in the sky at 12.30 am. That’s pretty cool to see s ome t h i n g t h a t n o h uma n being has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. No one alive will ever see this again.
Murphy, the electrician, got sacked from a US prison service for not servicing the electric chair.
He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
Music Quiz ( All the answers are sneakily hidden in the adverts ) 1. What was the UK’s best selling hit of the 80’s ? 2. What are the first names of Hall & Oates ? 3. Which two of the Bee Gees are twins ? 4. What was Ike & Tina Turner’s last hit before they split ? 5. Which song was Buddy Holly’s only UK hit ? 6. Which band won Eurovision with Save your kisses for me? 7. What was the Kinks first number one single? 8. Which was Take That’s most successful single? 9. Who wrote “ No particular place to go” while in prison ? 10. Which year did Freddie Mercury die ?
We would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country . 1. Grab a calculator ( you can't do this in your head )
2. Key in the first 3 digits of your home phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 8 4. Add 1 5. Multiply by 250 6. Add the last 3 digits of your phone number 7. Add the last 3 digits of your phone number again 8. Subtract 250 9. Divide number by 2 Do you recognise this number ? How does that work ?
7.
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