4. Nutbush City Limits


An Essex girl was involved in a car crash, which left her trapped in the wreckage and bleeding. The Paramedics arrived on the scene and one of them asked her: “What’s your name?” “Sharon.” she replied.


“ OK Sharon, where are you bleeding from?” “ Romford.”


Revenge is Sweet


We now have 2 dedicated rooms for residential and Dementia care short stays for young and elderly, which means you can now book your respite and short stays up to 12 months in advance.


Divorce is a good way to get rid of a tiresome Mother in Law.


CAPTION COMPETITION The above picture reminds us of one of the most brilliant


advertising campaigns ever seen on TV.


Sean Connery’s agent rang the great man and said, “ I’ve got you a great part in the next Hollywood blockbuster, but you need to be there early tomorrow for 10ish.” Sean frowned and said, “10ish ? But I don’t have a racket !”


Introducing Bill and Brent, The Mitchum Brothers. Two, not so bright, bouncers who work at Pringbellows, a rather rundown nightclub located somewhere in Lancashire. They are the creation of cartoonist, Marko who, having worked on the entertainment circuit, has plenty of material to work with! Over the months, we will be introducing you to regular characters, such as Eric, the karaoke king – a terrible singer, but thinks he’s great, (recognise him already?!!) and their boss, the ruthless Mr. Pringbellow. Marko, real name Mark Reynolds, originally comes from Nottinghamshire and has been drawing cartoons for as long as he can remember. Celebrities such as Sir Norman Wisdom and Jim Davidson own his work and now, thanks to the internet, has been selling worldwide. Take a look at his website— www.markocartoondesigns.co.uk


But now’s your chance to come up with something really clever by putting a caption to the picture.


We will publish the best caption in next months edition and give you a


mention. You will be famous throughout East Lancashire, and you might even get an offer from a top advertising


agency looking for new talent and change your life forever. We can always dream. Email your caption to:


info@thelocalherald.co.uk "I expect to pass through this world but once.


Any good thing , therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now.


Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." [Stephen Grellet 1773-1855]


22.


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