53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a "Geordies Are Not Stupid" convention.

Alan Shearer addresses the crowd "We are all here today to prove to the world that Geordies are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please".

To loud applause Gazza

7. Malaria.

gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. Shearer asks him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds Gazza says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Geordies start chanting "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!" Shearer says "Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance". So he asks "What

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Who said Australians weren't romantic

Of course I love ya darling, you're a bloody top-notch bird And when I say you're gorgeous, I mean every single word So ya bum is on the big side, I don't mind a bit of flab It means that when I'm ready, there's something there to grab.

So your belly isn't flat no more, I tell ya, I don't care So long as when I cuddle ya, I can get my arms round there No sheila who is your age, has nice round perky breasts They just gave in to gravity, but I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin' ya the truth now, I never tell ya lies I think its very sexy, that you've got dimples on ya thighs I swear on me nanna's grave now, the moment that we met I thought you was as good as, I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like, I'll always love ya dear Now shut up while the footy's on And fetch another beer.

A local comedian got a phone call to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Nobody there. Turned out it was a hoax.

is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds he

eventually says, "Ninety?" Shearer looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened and Gazza starts crying. But then the 53,000 Geordies begin to yell and wave their hands shouting "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!" Shearer, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, "What is 2 plus 2?" Silence hangs over the stadium. Gazza closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?" Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Geordie crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and Scream.................. "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

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An English Professor wrote these words on a blackboard: "A woman without her man is nothing"

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