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Full of Hot Air !

A y o u n g ma n n ame d J o h n received a par rot as a gi f t . The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the

bird and put him in the freezer. For

This lovely picture was given to us by one of our readers who tells us that this is a favourite trick of their pet Labrador. Perhaps it could be signed up for Wimbledon this year and help Andy Murray win the Men’s singles title. Or do you think he would perform better with soggy balls ?

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9. Bloodstone.

I can’t see anything wrong with this Genetically Modified Food, in fact our local supermarket sells a delicious leg of salmon.

a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then

suddenly there was total

quiet………………………………. Not a peep was heard for over a minute……………………………... Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." Marty Feldman.

As from Sunday 7th February 2010

Dunkenhalgh Sunday Lunch

£12.95 for 3 courses

STARTERS

Homemade Leek & Potato soup, herb croutons Chicken Liver pate, toasted brioche, Fig chutney

Carved seasonal Melon, Pineapple confit, Blackcurrant sorbet Smoked Fish potato cake, Rocket & Chorizo dressing Grilled Goats Cheese, Red Onion marmalade

MAIN COURSE

Traditional roast rib of British Beef, Yorkshire pudding & Gravy (£1.95 Supplement)

Honey roast loin of English Pork, glazed Apples & Cider sauce Pan fried Salmon fillet, Olive crushed Potatoes, French Beans, Tomato & Basil butter

Baked Chicken breast, Dauphinoise Potatoes, Wild Mushroom cream Vegetarian Option available on request

DESSERTS

Selection of Ice Cream, Berry compote Fresh Fruit salad

Sticky Toffee pudding, Orange butterscotch

A selection of Cheese & Biscuits, traditional trimmings (£1.50 Supplement)

Homemade Lemon cheesecake, fresh Strawberries

From a Hot Air Balloon Show In Germany

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