3. Isaac Newton

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People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the altar. Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had left the church e x c ep t f o r one e ld e r ly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, 'Don't you know who I am? The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.' 'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked. 'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man. 'Don't you realise I can kill with a word?' asked Satan. 'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan? 'Yep,' was the calm reply. 'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan. 'Nope,' said the old man. More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Well, why aren't you afraid of me?' The man replied, 'Been married to your sister for 44 years.'

Darling ? When I said paint the garage door !

Heaven is Where: The Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers are French and………….. It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where: The Police are German, the Chefs are British, the Mechanics are French, the Lovers are Swiss and………………. It's all organized by the Italians.

Have all the people at the supermarket check outs been on the same training course in “ How to make them feel

really

guilty .” ? They all use the same tone of voice and all have that same look when they say,“ Have you brought your own bags ?”

5.

This is from a German company doing novelty garage doors. Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36