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5. Smoke That Thunders.
I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.
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Our last month’s picture / music quiz, ( Which was incredibly popular with an amazing number of responses,) got a reply from one of our younger readers who wasn’t around during the 60’s, and wanted some stuff about more recent music. Well we do try to reach, and entertain, a wide audience, and even though the 90’s contributed little to the world of music, I mean who will remember “Tha Crossroads,” by Bone thugs N Harmony, in 40 years time, and say to their kids “ This was an all time classic.” Anyway, just for our younger readers, here is some information about Hits Of The 90’s. This is the List of the top 20 songs in the 90's that reached number 1 in the charts, based on the number of weeks they held the number one spot. 1 - "Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls (1998) 2 - "Don't Speak" - No Doubt (1997) 3 - "One Sweet Day" - Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men (1996) 4 - "Macarena" - Los Del Rio (1996) 5 - "I Will Always Love You" - Whitney Houston (1992/1993) 6 - "I'll Make Love To You" - Boyz II Men (1994) 7 - "Candle In The Wind 1997" - Elton John (1997) 8 - "End Of The Road" - Boyz II Men (1992) 9 - "The Boy Is Mine" - Brandy & Monica (1998) 10 - "Smooth" - Santana feat. Rob Thomas (1999) 11 - "I'll Be Missin' You" - Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans (1997) 12 - "Unbreak My Heart" - Toni Braxton (1996/1997) 13 - "I Swear" - All 4 One (1994) 14 - "Fantasy" - Mariah Carey (1995) 15 - "Tha Crossroads" - Bone Thugs N Harmony (1996) 16 - "Jump" - Kriss Kross (1992) 17 - "Dreamlover" - Mariah Carey 18 - "That's The Way Love Goes" - Janet Jackson 19 - "Can't Help Falling In Love" - UB40 (1993) 20 - "Black Or White" - Michael Jackson (1991)
Bone Thugs-n-Harmony Members, Krayzie Bone, Layzie Bone, Wish Bone, Flesh-n-Bone,
and
8.
Bizzy Bone. CLASSIC !
THE SQUIRREL AND THE GRASSHOPPER
REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and storing supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END THE BRITISH VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and storing supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others, less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour
Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and
Grasshopper Council demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. Boris Johnson rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London. In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to
downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.. A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug illness'. The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK . The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister. The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the U. K. The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds. THE END
The
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